


A Witch's Mark

by IsobelSalmon



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 40,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24082993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsobelSalmon/pseuds/IsobelSalmon
Summary: Alternative twist to Season 2 starting from "Innocence". Willow is marked by Angelus; outraged by the Scooby Gangs destruction of the Judge he begins exacting his revenge on the fragile red-head.
Relationships: Willow Rosenberg/Spike
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"And now I'm having a wiggins." Willow nodded at Xander's words as her eyes swept around the suddenly blackened hallway.

"What's going on?" She couldn't help sounding nervous, with the prospect of the Judge being close by she dreaded to think who had turned the lights off. Were the under attack? _Don't panic, it's probably just a power cut. Not everything which happens here is bad. Just…ninety percent of the stuff._

"Let's get back to the library," she felt Xander's hand touch her arm and felt a small thrill jump through her. She angrily squashed it, she was mad at him. Blackout be damned. She nodded and hurried after him but her footsteps stopped abruptly at the reassuring voice.

"Willow? Xander?"

"Angel!"

"Thank god you're okay!" The relief flooded Willow's voice replacing her fear; at least one good thing had come from the night. "Have you seen Buffy?"

"Yeah. What's up with the lights?" Willow shook her head but Xander spoke first.

"I don't know. Listen, I think I might have an idea –"

"That doesn't matter now. I've got something to show you."

"Show us?" Willow took a step closer and squinted, trying to make out Angel's face in the darkness. Why was he being so mysterious?

"Come here. And Xander, get the others."

"Okay…" Willow looked at Xander suddenly feeling unsure, her stomach was knotting but she put it down to the paranoia of the blackout. Xander shrugged and turned to run off back to the library, the urge to follow him filled Willow but she pushed it away turning to look back at Angel.

"What is it, Angel?" She asked taking a tentative step towards him, all the time trying to seek out his face in the darkness.

"It's amazing." The excitement in his voice spurred her on, her feet picked up the pace. Had he found a way to stop the Judge already? She was only a few feet from him when a voice from behind caught her in surprise.

"Willow, get away from him." The soles of Willow's sneakers squeaked softly as she paused mid-step. She turned to find Jenny Calendar opposite her, a determined look on her features.

"What?"

"Walk to me." Jenny's hands held up a cross, even in the faint glow of moonlight Willow could see that the cross was trembling. She turned completely and took a step towards Jenny, her confusion evident on her face. It was Angel, why was she holding a cross? He would never hurt them! Had he not had more than a hundred chances to kill them all? Willow had even invited him into her bedroom that one night to help him look for something online. He had been nothing but a perfect gentleman.

"Ms. Calendar, what are you doing? It's _Angel_?" She asked incredulously. A set of doors burst open and Willow flinched as the _bang_ reverberated for the hallway, at the same time someone grabbed her around the neck, pulling her close and holding it tightly. She cried out in sudden pain.

"Don't you do that!" Xander cried angrily joining Jenny at her side and looking angrily at Angel. Willow's hands scratched at the large one encasing her throat but he only squeezed harder, omitting a strangled yelp from her.

"Oh, I think I do that."

"Angel!" Willow gasped still trying to pull at the hand which held her throat. Her back was pinned firmly to his front and he lifted her ever so slightly off the floor so she couldn't balance properly and gain herself the leverage she needed to break free. She almost cried with frustration as Xander, Jenny and Angel argued – was no one going to actually do anything and help free her? Her vision blurred as Angel turned so his back now faced Jenny and Xander, her eyes sought out what had caught his attention and relief flooded through at the sight of Buffy. She opened her mouth to speak but the hand around her throat was too tight, she could feel the pressure darkening her vision and she was terrified she would pass out at any moment.

"Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends." _Bodies?_ Willow's mind squeaked and she suddenly found a surge of energy to kick out at Angel, but his response was as if she were nothing more than a fly irritating him. Keeping his hand on her throat he used his free arm to circle her waist, rendering movement completely useless.

"Just leave Willow alone. Deal with me." Buffy's voice was firm and Willow envied her, how could she keep so cool when she must be going through utter hell at that moment? Her eyes sought out Buffy's; trying to get some contact, but her friend could only fix her eyes on Angel. There was a slight tremor in her posture. _She's scared._ This did little to reassure Willow, she had rarely seen Buffy so frightened. And for Angel to be the source of her fear…

"But she's so cute and helpless." Willow cried out as Angel's hand left her waist and pinched her cheek, she could feel his fangs grazing her neck and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut bracing herself for the pain she was sure was coming soon. "It's really a turn on." She screamed as fangs tore into her throat, but the sensation went from excruciating pain to almost pleasurable in an instant, the fangs were buried in her throat yet she could feel the tip of Angel's tongue teasingly sliding against the sensitive skin. She felt her body grow heavy, but before she could fully register what was happening she found herself sprawled on her hands and knees, a sharp pain shooting from her kneecaps where they had collided with the floor. It took her a few seconds to regain her composure, when she looked up she saw Buffy staring blankly at a closing door.

The mood of the library was subdued; a thick blanket of despair had enveloped the group. Giles seemed determined to believe that Angel had not reverted to his old self; the tense look around his eyes had Willow feeling on edge. "Giles, it was just – you wouldn't have believed him. He was so…" She trailed off unsure of how to describe Angel's behaviour, "he came here to _kill_ us." Her hand reached up to rub at the wound on her neck, already the blood had dried but she could feel the ridges of broken skin.

"What are we gonna do?" Cordelia asked slumping back in her chair and looking around.

"I'm leaning towards blind panic myself." Giles sighed and Willow looked up at him in shock, she had never heard him so pessimistic before.

"Rupert don't talk like that – the kids." Jenny hushed him, as the two continued to argue softly Willow walked over to Buffy. She caught Buffy's eyes fixating on her neck and she quickly pulled her hair over her shoulder to hide the wound, shrugging lightly to show it was no big deal. _He bit me,_ she couldn't help thinking. She had never thought Angel would bite her. She tried to draw Buffy out from herself, to lure her into conversation. But the blonde slayer was too heartbroken and left the solemn group.

"Are you quite sure you are alright?" Giles asked parking the car in front of Willow's house and looking at her, his face was full of concern and his eyes deep with worry. Willow forced herself to smile and nod.

"H – He didn't get a chance to take much. It was just the shock," she still couldn't believe the turn of events. "Thanks for the lift Giles."

"Of course," he nodded as she clamoured from the car and closed the door. "Willow, do be careful." He called out to her as she stepped onto the pavement. "I know I am not your legal guardian or even a teacher but please, none of you should go out alone at night. Not with Angelus on the loose." Willow smiled and nodded, waving as Giles drove off. She pulled her cardigan tighter around herself and turned to walk up the front path, but it was blocked.

"You think he would be a bit more sensible and wait until you were in the house _before_ he drove off." Angel's voice was cold and mocking. He lunged at her, clapping a hand over her mouth and pulling her into the darkness of a tree. His face had taken on that of a demon's and Willow screamed against his hand. "I wasn't lying you know," he murmured pressing his lips to her forehead. "You really are a turn on Willow; I'm not sure how I missed it before." He lowered his head to her neck and Willow could feel her body grow cold at the prospect of what he was about to do. Without thinking she bit down on the hand over her mouth and pushed Angel aside. "You can run Will," he laughed, "but you're marked. I will come for you." Scrabbling through her bag Willow tried to find the keys to the door, she looked over her shoulder to see how close Angel was, but he had gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Time slowly began to pass, Willow never told anyone about Angel's threat – why worry them? Picking up some fish food with her right hand she cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder as she flipped the lid of her tank and sprinkled some food in. "I just hope Giles can find a "keep out" spell soon. I know I'll sleep easier once I can…sleep easier." Willow nodded but realised Buffy couldn't see her through the phone.

"I'm sure he will. He's like Book Man. Until then just try to keep happy thoughts and…" The rest of her sentence died on her lips as she saw the piece of parchment lying on her bed. Her mouth was almost as dry as the envelope, her fingers brushed across it and she nervously opened it. Had Angel been watching her sleep too? The thought made her uncomfortable and she looked at her window nervously, expecting to see him standing there and grinning with his vampire face on. How could she have forgotten she had invited him in to her own home? She tried not to ask herself why he had not followed her in that night he had revealed he was free of his soul. Did he have something crueller in mind?

""And" what? Willow?" Buffy's voice sounded as if it were coming across a great distance as she dipped her hand into the envelope and pulled out a slender golden chain. It glimmered elegantly under the bedroom light, but as she pulled it out something caught on the envelope. With a slightly harder tug she finished pulling out the golden chain and bit back a scream. Her eyes flew between the chain in her hand and the fish tank, the food still bobbed on the surface; no one had gone to claim the sprinkles. " _Willow_? _Willow say something_!" The panic in Buffy's voice was evident, but Willow couldn't find her voice.

"Sorry about your fish." Buffy readjusted the stake in her hand so she could squeeze Willow's arm.

"It's okay; we hadn't really had time to bond yet. I just got them for Hannukah." Willow forced a smile wanting to somehow alleviate the guilt she knew Buffy was feeling. "Although, for the first time, I'm _glad_ my parents didn't let me have a puppy." She shuddered at the thought of what else Angel could have done in her home. What if her parents had been home? She pushed the thought out of her mind, why worry Buffy with something like that? She flicked her pale green eyes at her friend to see her expression, there was a blank smile on the girl's lips but her eyes were blank showing she was deep in thought. Had she even heard what she'd said?

"It's so weird…every time something like that happens my first instinct is to run to tell Angel. I can't believe it's the same person. He's the complete opposite of what he was."

"Well…sort of…" Willow hesitantly added, "except…"

"Except what?"

"You're still the only thing he thinks about." Buffy shook her head and both girls lapsed back into silence. The fingers of Willow's right hand itched to brush across her neck. The bite Angel had made was gone, but he had left a faint scar. She was terrified that if Buffy looked close enough her friend would notice the slightly paler patches on Willow's throat, that she would brush her fingertips across the soft scar tissue and feel the ridges of the mark.

_Willow pulled her cardigan tightly shut and blew into her clasped hands. Was the library normally this cold? The candlelight she was using to read began to flicker violently and she glared at it in exasperation, rebelliously the flame extinguished itself. Glaring at it Willow focused on the trail of smoke floating towards the ceiling, picturing the candle lighting itself once more she smiled with satisfaction as it flared back to life._

_"The witch brings light back to life." Willow jumped up in shock at the sound of a childlike voice. She could just make out the slender form of Drusilla in the flickering light._

_"I – I'm not a witch." Willow whispered picking the heavy book up and holding it out protectively, as if that would stop Drusilla from killing her._

_"He is coming for you little witch."_

_"W – Who?" Willow choked feeling her stomach twist painfully, her eyes darting from side to side. Where was Buffy? Where was Giles?_

_"He will be your death and you will be his."_

_"I –"_

"Willow! _Willow_! Wake up!" Someone was shaking her to and fro; stiffly Willow sat up and looked around. She was in Buffy's room, a stake clasped tightly in her hands. "C'mon we need to get ready for school." For a few seconds Willow could only sit feeling dumbstruck, had it just been a dream? But what did it mean? _Nothing, it was just a dream._ She told herself trying to loosen her grip on the stake. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, f – fine. Just a weird dream." Willow forced herself to smile and grabbed her bag to get changed.

Several hours later Willow found herself nailing a crucifix to her bedroom wall. "I'm going to have a hard time explaining this to my dad." She said nervously biting her lip, what was worse? Her dad discovering the Christian relic fixed firmly to her wall, or coming home to find Angel waiting for her with his fangs bared? She didn't relish either thought, in fact for a fleeting second she almost thought finding Angel waiting to murder her would be the less painful of the two options.

"You really think this'll bother him?" Buffy's voice was sceptical and Willow smiled at her disbelief.

"Ira Rosenberg's only daughter nailing crucifixes to her bedroom wall? I have to go to Xander's house just to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" every year."

"I see your point."

"Although it is worthwhile just to see Xander do the Snoopy dance." Willow giggled and blushed when she remembered Cordelia was in the room with them. She turned to see the brunette inspecting her room critically, leaning forwards and staring intently at the empty fish tank.

"Uh, Willow, are you aware that there are no fish in your aquarium?" Willow blinked back tears and flicked her eyes up at the crucifix. On second thoughts maybe her dad discovering the relic would be less painful than what Angel had in store for her. But if he really had marked her would this really stop him?

"You know, Cordelia, we've already done your car. You can call it a night if you want." Willow nodded slightly too enthusiastically, it wasn't that she wasn't grateful for Cordelia's help except…well she hadn't really helped much.

"Sure, two's company, three's…not. And you know I'd do the same for you if either of you _had_ a social life." Willow saw an envelope fall from beneath Cordelia's coat as the cheerleader gathered her belongings. "Oh hey…this must be for you." Cordelia shrugged and picked it up, handing it to Willow and looking slightly confused. Her hands trembling Willow took the envelope from Cordelia's outstretched hand and looked at Buffy nervously, what had he murdered this time? Her fingertips squeezed the envelope lightly, but there seemed to be nothing inside but a piece of parchment. Apprehensively she opened it and unfolded the parchment, bile rose up in her throat as she stared at the sketch. Beautifully drawn but full of menace.

"I – It's for you," she whispered passing the parchment to Buffy. Even as Buffy took the parchment Willow could still see the image of Joyce Summers sleeping.

"Well Cordelia now's your chance to do the same for us." Buffy's eyes had turned cold and hard like stone, she screwed up the piece of parchment and jammed it in her front pocket. Willow grabbed the sage, herbs and book before rushing after her friend leaving a confused and exasperated Cordelia standing in the middle of her room.

The Summer house was empty when Cordelia dropped them off outside the door. They didn't even say goodbye to her as she sped off with a squeal of tyres. "Lock the doors," Buffy said as she sprinted through the house to see if there was any trace of Angel. Willow obeyed before she quickly set out the tools they'd need on the kitchen counter; her hands hovered briefly over the spell book as she remembered Drusilla's words in her dream.

"I'm not a witch," she whispered, "this means nothing…I'm just…" She shook her head unsure of what she was doing. She was desperate to confide in Buffy, to reveal how frightened she was. But what good would it do? Buffy couldn't be at her side all the time, and now that they had rescinded Angel's invitation to her house surely she was safer? She was deep in thought she barely noticed when Buffy returned and began sprinkling holy water and lighting the sage. She followed her around the house, trying to concentrate on the words printed in front of her but unable to pull her mind into the present. What had it meant when Angel had bitten her? And it hadn't hurt…not for long? Was that normal? And _why_ had he marked her? _Stop thinking,_ she told herself. _Switch your mind off._ "… his verbes, consenus rescissus est." She flicked her eyes up and almost choked when she saw Angel standing in the doorway trying to get in. For a brief second he looked confused, but as Buffy spoke Willow saw the cruel smile twist on his lips. His dark eyes met hers and he nodded ever so slightly, as if understanding what she had done. As Buffy slammed the door in his face Willow suddenly felt foolish standing on the stairs holding an ancient book written in Latin. Joyce Summers looked dazed, confused and slightly horrified as she looked between the two teenage girls.

"Erm…Willow could you please give us a few moments?" Without waiting for her to answer Joyce turned to her daughter. "Upstairs. Now." Willow scuttled into the sitting room and sat down; she felt sorry for Buffy but knew she wouldn't be able to help her. Unable to sit still for long Willow jumped up and looked out the curtains but there was no sign of Angel, was he really gone or was he lurking somewhere in the shadows? As she sat back down someone knocked on the front door and she jumped. Surely it couldn't be Angel? Would he be so foolish as to knock on the door? If she answered it would it count as an invitation? _Get a grip!_ She scolded herself forcing herself to walk to the door, the book still clasped in her hands. Somehow she felt safer with it, as if it were a talisman.

"Willow? Hi." Giles was evidently just as shocked to see the redhead as she was to see him.

"Hi, come on in." She smiled unable to help the relief which was coursing through her. Everything seemed safer with Giles around. "Here's the book." She stepped back to let him in as she relinquished the book, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

"Yes, I should do my apartment tonight. Did the ritual work out all right?"

"Oh, yeah. It went fine." She paused and looked up the staircase, "well…it went fine up until the part where Angel showed up and told Buffy's mum that he and Buffy had…" she trailed off blushing furiously, "well, you know, that they had…they had…you know…" Horror swept over her as she realised she might be betrayed Buffy, "uh…you _do_ know, right?"

"Oh…yes. Sorry." Giles shifted looking slightly uncomfortable but Willow felt relieved that she hadn't betrayed Buffy.

"Oh, good. I just realised, that being a librarian and all, maybe you really didn't know –"

"No thank you, I got it." Giles smiled briefly and looked past Willow's shoulder and up the stairs.

"You would have been proud of her though! She totally kept her cool." She saw that Giles was still standing outside, looking torn between stepping in or going back to his car. "Okay…well, I'll tell Buffy you stopped by…" She moved to close the door thinking that perhaps he was in a rush to go somewhere.

"Wait! Do you think I should perhaps…intervene on Buffy's behalf with her mother? Maybe say something?"

"Sure! Like what would you say?" Willow smiled teasingly, the image of Giles trying to explain the situation to Buffy's mum almost made her giggle. She was sure it would make Buffy laugh…

"Well…for instance, I could say…that is…" Giles caught the laughter in her eyes and sighed. "So you _will_ tell Buffy I dropped by then?"

"You bet. As soon as she comes back down from talking with her mum." She was about to close the door when she remembered Angel's scorn the night Giles had dropped her off at home. She stood in the doorway and waved as he drove away, only retreating once his car had disappeared from sight. It wasn't much longer before Buffy and her mum emerged back downstairs, Willow looked apologetically at Joyce. "I – I'm sorry I know I should leave but…"

"Nonsense Willow!" Joyce smiled and gestured for her to sit back down. "With Angel outside I would feel much better if you stayed inside. Perhaps you should stay over tonight?"

"Thank you," Willow smiled as the relief flooded through her. "Are you okay?" She looked at Buffy who smiled weakly and nodded.

"Men…mistakes," she sighed and ran a hand through her blonde hair. She hugged her mum as Joyce turned to start the dinner before sitting beside Willow.

"Giles dropped by, he wanted to intervene on your behalf." She said the last part in an imitation-Giles voice and couldn't stop the smile breaking out across her face. Buffy giggled at the thought.

"Thank you for stopping him – that would be one humiliation too far I think."

"So…was it horrible?" Willow asked, she couldn't imagine having that conversation with her own mother. Then again her mother barely acknowledged her existence.

"It wasn't too horrible." In the next room they heard the phone beginning to ring. "I'll get it," Buffy called out to her mum and Willow followed her into the next room. "Hello? Giles! Hey, we finished the sp –" Willow watched as the laughter flickered out of Buffy's eyes, her mouth dropped open and her grip slackened on the phone. She slid began to slide down the wall slowly, clearly in shock. "What?"

"Buffy?" Willow asked reaching out to take the phone. "Giles?"

"Willow." Giles' voice was weak, "Angel…he's…he's killed Jenny." She felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. "What? No…oh no!" Joyce appeared in the doorway, seeing Buffy slumped on the floor and Willow holding the phone and crying hysterically. "Willow!" Willow dropped the phone as Joyce gathered her into her arms and stroked her hair gently. "My god, Buffy, what's wrong? Has something happened?"

"Ms Calendar…she's…" Willow couldn't finish the sentence, guilt and grief washed over her. Why Ms. Calendar? What had she ever done to him? She buried her face into her hands trying to stop herself from hyperventilating.

"Dead," Buffy whispered forcing herself to stand up and wrap her arms around Willow and her mum.

"She can't be…he couldn't…" Willow sobbed, "he _wouldn't_." Her legs turned to jelly and she felt herself guided to the settee by Buffy and Joyce. "Giles – we have to go to him."

"No. Girls I am sorry but you cannot go outside…"

"We'll get Cordelia…mum we _have_ to go make sure he's okay, that he doesn't do something stupid!"

"Oh god," Willow squeaked. Would Giles go after Angel? Surely he wouldn't be so foolish? Giles was the calm one of the group, the one who knew everything. He would know that going after Angel would be a suicide mission! As Joyce stood up to make drinks Willow looked desperately at Buffy. "We shouldn't have left her alone…I should have…" Was this her fault? She had been so worried about Angel telling her she was marked she'd barely thought of anything else. "We should have protected her," Willow sobbed.

Once she had regained her composure Willow and Buffy called Cordelia and Xander, the drive to Giles' was tense and silent. The air heavy with grief and disbelief, had any of them really expected this? They knew Angel had reverted to his former ways, the stunt he had pulled with the Judge had proved that. He had no humanity; he no longer cared about them – if he had ever cared about any of them. They had faced vampires before, almost been killed by several, but for Angel to now be the possibility of their death. It was too surreal.

"All his weapons are gone," Willow felt numb as they stepped into the trashed front room of Giles' apartment.

"But, I thought he kept his weapons at the library." Cordelia's voice was hopeful and Willow briefly felt a small spark of hope.

"Those are his everyday weapons." Xander sighed, "These were his "good" weapons. The ones he only breaks out when company comes to visit."

"So…it is what we were afraid of. Giles isn't here…" She looked over at Buffy who was slowly walking down the stairs, her eyes blank and her face pale.

"He'll go to wherever Angel is." Buffy looked at the trio, her hands clenching into tight fists. Willow felt a fresh wave of grief, what if Giles had gone after Angel? To lose Jenny and Giles in one night…Angel wouldn't kill them both would he?

"That means the factory, right?" She asked quickly, hoping that they might not be too late.

"So, Giles is going to try to kill Angel then…" Cordelia voiced the thought everyone was thinking. Willow was halfway out the door when she heard Xander's bitter words.

"Well, it's about time someone did."

"Xander!" She cried turning to look at him shocked, how could he say that about Angel? He was one of them! _No…he's not Willow!_ She tried to remind herself, _he's killed Ms. Calendar…he's sworn you're marked…_ but it wasn't his fault was it? He didn't have a soul!

"I'm sorry. But let's not forget that I hated Angel long before all of you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So, I think I deserve something for not saying "I told you so" long before now. And, if Giles wants to go after the… fiend who murdered his girlfriend, I say "Faster, Pussycat. Kill. Kill." Willow shook her head unable to believe the hate that was spewing from Xander's mouth. Is this what they had been reduced to? Full of fear and loathing for the man who had once been a central part of their group? How many times would they have been killed without Angel's help?

"You're right." Buffy's voice was deadpan, completely void of emotion.

"What?!" Willow shook her head wanting to hit them, why was no one seeing sense? They couldn't kill Angel! They had to help him! But more importantly they had to _stop_ Giles!

"There's only one thing wrong with Giles' little revenge scenario."

"What's that?"

"It's gonna get him killed." Buffy strode from the apartment and three stared after her before quickly following her back to Cordelia's car.

Cordelia was driving so fast that Willow couldn't even put her seatbelt on, gravity pinned her back into the seat and she felt her nails dig into Xander's jeans as the car lifted on two wheels. She wanted to plead with Cordelia to slow down, but that might cost them Giles' life. They screeched to a halt in the factory car park.

" _Wait_ here." Buffy commanded them, "I am serious guys I do not want to have to be responsible for you as well." She slammed the car door leaving the three sitting in silence.

"We can't just sit here," Willow squeaked, "we _have_ to do something! What if they're outnumbered?"

"Buffy's been outnumbered before, remember when we were locked in that underground club?" Xander tried to reassure her but he was already climbing out from the car. Willow nodded but the thought did little to reassure her, that time had been different. She hadn't been up against Angel at that point.

"What if it's a trap?" Cordelia called out, "what if they're just waiting to slaughter us all? An all-you-can-eat-buffet?" She jumped out the car and looked around helplessly. Willow sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose; the air was thick with the scent of bonfire.

"Can you smell that?" She turned to look at the factory, to see the thick flames spewing from the shattered windows and the flames licking at the sides. A figure was running towards them, supporting a limping and slumped figure. "Buffy!" She cried running forwards. Before the three could reach the slayer and watcher they watched in horror as Buffy turned and hit Giles squarely in the face, shouting at them. Her voice was raw with grief and Willow longed to embrace her friend.

Willow sat at Ms. Calendar's desk, staring at the blank screen. The lesson plan Ms. Calendar had drawn up was open in front of her, had it only been yesterday she had eagerly thought she would take over the class? She remembered the wave of disappointment she had felt when she'd realised Ms. Calendar had not been late, that she had spent hours planning the lesson for nothing. A wave of guilt washed over her, how could she have been so selfish? She blinked back tears as the first of the students trickled into the room. She picked up the lesson plan and stood up.

"Principal Snyder has asked me to fill in for Ms. Calendar, until the new computer teacher arrives…so, I'm just going to stick to the lesson plan that she left…" She set the lesson plan back down, her hands brushing against something thin and cold but she didn't notice as the object fell off the desk. When everyone was logged on to their computers she sat back down and stared at her own screen blankly. She couldn't muster up the energy to focus on what she was meant to be doing. Giles had said Ms. Calendar had been working late…had she been murdered here? In this room? Why? What had she been doing? Instinctively Willow pulled open one of the desk drawers, her heart stopping at the sight of the all too familiar envelope which stared up at her. With trembling hands she pulled the envelope from the drawer and unfolded the parchment inside. She bit back the scream which threatened to break free. On the parchment was a sketch, frighteningly lifelike. She was staring at herself, the phone clutched in her hands and her face twisted up in grief. She flipped it over to find three words elegantly scrawled on the back;

_You're next, Willow._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Willow sat in front of her computer staring at the open word document. She stared at the white screen lost in a trance, what was she doing? Was she really trying to sit here and do homework? _What else can I do?_ They had done their nightly patrol; she couldn't keep sleeping over at Buffy's house…especially as Angel couldn't get in now. But going on as normal didn't feel right. What about Ms. Calendar? She couldn't go on as normal anymore. She couldn't do anything. Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them away quickly, she couldn't keep crying. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, poised to type, but she couldn't even remember what subject she was working on. English? No…biology? History? Her hands moved from the keyboard to her desk drawer, to pull out the parchment she had slipped between notebooks in the top drawer. She stared at the three words. Would it be quick? The police had said Ms. Calendar had died instantly, she hadn't felt a thing. Just a quick snap. Would Angel be that merciful with her? The wind blew the branches against her window but she ignored it. Shivering she stood up and grabbed her dressing gown, pulling the fluffy robe over her nightdress she buried her face into the soft fabric. The tapping of the branches became insistent and Willow reached out to shut the window, her hands froze in mid-air as she saw the pale face staring at her.

"Let me in Willow," Angel smirked at her.

"No." Willow shook her head and stepped away from the window, she sat back at her desk and flipped open her emails. "Go away…Angelus." She spat the name and turned her head to glare at him. He was leaning against the window, looking as if he wanted to be nowhere else. Willow turned back to the screen and clicked on a new email.

Angel is here.

She clicked _send_ and hoped that it would reach Buffy sooner rather than later. What if she was out? What if she had gone to see Giles? Or if she had given up on her homework and was watching TV? Her eyes flicked at the phone beside her computer but Angel laughed coldly.

"Go ahead. Call your little slayer friend, I'll have to kill her eventually." Willow's hands hovered over the phone but she didn't pick it up. She couldn't do that to Buffy.

"Just _go away_." Willow hissed trying to keep one eye on Angel and the other on her computer in case a reply came through. She opened the email again and sent one to Xander, Giles and even Cordelia. Surely one of them would get it and alert Buffy?

"Not until you let me in."

"Then you can wait until sunrise." Willow stood up and moved to close her curtains but she couldn't bring herself to get too close. What if he managed to grab her wrist and pull her through?

"Where are your parents?" Angel's smile was cruel and Willow felt her blood run cold.

"In bed." Willow forced her voice to stay calm and she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

"Don't lie to me Willow," Angel's face transformed into a demonic mask. "I don't like liars."

"W – Well I don't like vampires." Willow spat back defiantly.

"You liked me well enough when I had a soul." Angel teased her, relaxing his face. "Your parents went out didn't they? They should be back soon…"

"I am not inviting you in." Willow spat and forced herself to yank the curtains closed, but she could still feel his eyes glaring at her through the fabric.

"You would rather trade your life for your parents?" Angel taunted her, "you know eventually I will get you. How many people do you want me to kill before you finally succumb to your fate?" In the distance she could hear a car approaching, her stomach clenched. It couldn't be her parents; they wouldn't be back for hours…would they? _Buffy where are you?_ The car pulled up, doors opened and closed. "Willooooow." Willow's ears pricked for the sound of footsteps but there was only silence. "Who should I kill first? Your mother or father?" Quickly Willow grabbed her phone and dialled Buffy's number, but the phone just rang.

"Buffy _please_." Willow whispered but after a few minutes the phone continued to ring.

"She can't help you every time you get into trouble Willow," Angel laughed. "How many times has she saved you? Surely by now you must realise your luck has run out." Trying not to panic Willow dropped the phone and sprinted from her room to the front door. Could she outrun him? She didn't care that she was in her nightclothes; she had to get away from here. It wasn't far to Xander's, surely she could make it? She yanked the front door and was almost over the threshold when a hand appeared and reached out for. With a scream Willow jumped back and slammed the door shut. Running back to her room she grabbed the stake she kept hidden under her bed and held it close. "C'mon Will, just let me in. I promise I won't hurt you – not tonight anyway." Willow shook her head, even though she knew he couldn't see her. Tears stung her eyes and she caught sight of the parchment on the floor. Standing up she slowly peeled back the curtains and looked at him, his face was demonic but as he looked at her it relaxed.

"Will it be quick?" She asked him forcing her voice to keep calm; she kept the hand clutching the stake behind her back so he couldn't see it. "Like Ms. Calendar…will…"

"I'm not going to kill you Willow," Angel smiled reassuringly and reached out as if to stroke her cheek but found his hand blocked by the barrier. "I want to have some fun with you first, teach you how to live."

"Why me?" She asked taking a step backwards. "You've never taken an interest in me before now, so why are you suddenly so…" She trailed off unsure of what he was even being, other than obsessive.

"Perhaps I never truly noticed you until now."

"I would prefer it if you continued to you know… _not_ notice me." Willow whispered, she prayed that her parents would come home while he was occupied talking to her. She flinched at the sound of a second car and Angel suddenly moved upright, ready to sprint.

"It's your choice Willow. I can come in, or you can leave me out here to take your parents." She heard her mother's voice and drew in a sharp breath.

"Angel please, _no_." She begged as he began to move away.

"Invite me in."

"I _can't_!" Willow pleaded.

"It's your choice Willow." He moved away, melting into the shadows.

"No…come back!" She cried out before she could stop herself, "c – come in!" She regretted it as soon as the words left her mouth.

"Willow, we're home!" She heard her mum call and she bit back a cry as Angel stepped into her room. "Have you done your homework?"

"Y – Yes." Willow called back.

"Tell her you're going to bed." Angel murmured in her ear, plucking the stake from her hand.

"Let me go say goodbye," Willow pleaded, "I won't tell them anything…please?" Angel stared at her, his eyes holding her gaze before finally nodding.

"I warn you though Willow," he pressed the tip of the stake against the hollow of her throat. "If you reveal to them that I am here, or that anything is wrong, then I will kill them in front of you. _Slowly_. What I did to Drusilla will look like a child's first Christmas in comparison to what I will do to you." Willow nodded slowly and slipped out from the room, shutting the door behind her. She took a deep breath and forced herself to smile, how could she calmly say goodnight when this would most likely be the last time she saw her parents alive? She found her parents sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in front of both of them.

"Mum, dad…I erm…I'm going to bed now."

"Alright darling, good night." Neither of them looked up from the papers they were reading.

"Erm…yes…goodnight." What had she been expecting? That they would jump up and envelope her in their arms? Hug her tightly and tell her that they loved her? She found Angel staring at her computer, the email she had sent to Buffy open on her screen. Her heart jumped into her throat, how furious would he be?

"Would you like to call her?" He picked up the phone and held it out to her, smirking cruelly.

"I – I did." Willow held her chin up and stared at him defiantly. "She didn't answer." Why did she tell him that? Surely the smart thing to do would have been to tell him that she was on her way? She sat down on the desk chair and stared at the email. "She will kill you," she whispered.

"She can keep trying, she hasn't managed so far." Angel rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it tightly. "I have plans little witch."

"I'm _not_ a witch." Willow insisted remembering the dream she had, had about Drusilla. "He will be your death and you will be his…" she whispered without thinking.

"What?" Angel's hand tightened on her shoulder and she let out a gasp. His other hand grasped her chin and forced her head around to face him, for a brief second she thought he was about to snap her neck like he had done with Ms. Calendar. "What did you just say?"

"N – Nothing," Willow whimpered too afraid to shake her head in case she broke her own neck. "Please Angel you're _hurting_ me!" He pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the wall.

" _What did you say_?" He hissed.

"Willow what are you doing?" Her father called from down the hall and Willow froze when she heard footsteps, frightened that he was about to come in and see what was happening. But the footsteps receded and she could hear the faint clicking of her parents' bedroom door shutting. She looked at Angel, her eyes wide with terror, his face had transformed into the hateful mask and his eyes were a sickly yellow as he glared.

"I won't ask you again!"

"I…I overheard it somewhere – "he will be your death and you will be his"!"

" _Where_ did you overhear it?"

"I – In a dream," she squeaked as he pressed his arm against her windpipe, "please Angel I can't remember anything else. I just remember someone saying it…I don't know who it was or what they meant! It was just a dream!" he stared at her with bared fangs, Willow's eyes swept around her room trying to find something she might be able to use as a weapon but Angel caught her by surprise. She almost screamed when he suddenly bent his head down, bracing herself to feel his fangs burying themselves back in her neck she was surprised when he crushed his mouth against hers. His lips were cold, but surprisingly gentle. Willow closed her eyes and tried to turn her head away but Angel grasped her chin and kept her in place.

"Look at me," he whispered biting her lower lip, " _look_ at me Willow." She forced her eyes open but she couldn't bring herself to look at the monster in front of her.

" _Stop_." She begged somehow finding the strength to push him away. "J – Just bite me or kill me and get it over with!" The phone on her desk began to ring, she looked at it desperately but Angel beat her to it. Picking up the receiver he held it in mid-air before ripping the whole phone from the wall.

"Come." He stepped towards the window and held out his hand, expecting her to take it. But Willow was frozen against the wall. " _Willow_." He growled.

"I – I need to get dressed first." She would have run away in her nightclothes, but she wasn't going anywhere with him dressed in just a thin nightgown and a dressing gown. With an impatient sigh Angel sat on her bed and gestured for her to hurry. "C – Can you close your eyes?" She asked him horrified as he just sat there and stared at her expectantly.

"No," Angel laughed, "now hurry up." Willow glared at him, her cheeks burning with humiliation. She grabbed a pair of denim overalls and a polo-necked jumper. She dressed as best she could under her dressing gown and turned her back to him. She could feel Angel's eyes burning a hole in her back and she bit back the tears of humiliation. When she was dressed she turned to stare at him defiantly and followed him towards the window, he held up his hand to make her stop when they heard a car door slam.

"Quick – he might still be here."

"Shit." Angel growled and Willow saw an opportunity to arm herself. She quickly knelt down as if to retie her shoelace and hurriedly stretched her hand under the bed, she had a small cross stashed away and she hurriedly shoved it in her pocket. "Get up," Angel grabbed her and pushed her from the window. "Make _one_ sound and I will kill them all." He hissed at her pushing her into the shadows and away from the house. He paused in an alley opposite and held Willow in place, forcing her to watch. She heard her mother's voice calling out for her, at first annoyed but gradually becoming frantic. Buffy and Xander appearing on the front garden and calling her wildly. Desperately she fought the urge to call out to them, to run and warn them. She didn't even notice as Angel moved her hair aside and ripped the neck of her jumper. All she remembered was the searing pain as he tore into her throat and the agonised scream she couldn't hold back, even if she had tried.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

A wall of ice washed over Willow and she bolted upright with a gasp of surprise. "Wakey, wakey." A cruel voice taunted her, shivering Willow moved to wipe hug herself but found her arms were stretched out to the side and immobile. Her eyes were blurred from water and she blinked them rapidly but couldn't clear her vision, she cried out as a hand roughly wiped her face with a coarse towel, clearing her vision. Shivering she caught sight of the empty bucket rolling towards her. Her ears pricked at the sound of tyres squeaking and she looked slowly to her left horrified to see Drusilla wheeling a depressed looking Spike into the room. Desperately she tugged at the chains which bound her to the wall but she only succeeded in wrenching her shoulder painfully.

"Angel please let me go," she begged, "there must be part of you who remembers who you are!"

"Willow I haven't forgotten anything, I remember being the Slayer's pet." His face turned demonic and he growled at Willow. " _This_ is who I am. You should have all remembered I am a vampire. I am not some weak human filled with sickening emotions."

"Just _why_ is she here?" Spike sighed, "just kill her already and then kill the Slayer." Willow looked at him but Spike was leaning back in the chair and staring at the ceiling. "Or let me have a bite. I'm sick of this bloody chair."

"There's an idea," Angel smiled and relaxed his face. Gently he cupped Willow's chin in his hand and tilted her face so her eyes were forced to meet his. "I am not holding you prisoner, well…not to the wall anyway. You can free yourself Will."

"I – I can't, I don't h – have the key." She whispered half-hoping that he was about to dangle a key just out of her reach. Even if she had to dislocate every joint she would reach that key.

"You do not need a key." Willow shook her head as she caught his hidden meaning, why was he so insistent on this idea that she was a witch?

"I – I'm _not_ a witch."

"You revoked my invitation to your house and Buffy's – how else could you do that?"

"Giles said it was an easy incantation," she pleaded with him. If she could get him to drop this fascination then perhaps he would lose interest in her? Her eyes flicked towards Drusilla and she suppressed a shudder. Would he torment her into insanity like he had her?

"Of course it was an easy incantation, but why do you think he had you do it rather than Xander or Buffy? You have to be born with the ability to wield magic." Angel stroked her cheek gently and smiled reassuringly. "You can do it Will. Otherwise Wheels over there gets to feast on you." He stroked her cheek and smoothly climbed to his feet, petting Drusilla as if she were a child as he swept past.

"Can I have a bite?" Drusilla purred leaning forwards so she could run her hands down Spike's front. Willow swallowed a lump of fear and forced herself to stare straight ahead as if she couldn't hear them.

"No love," Spike sighed wheeling over to Willow.

"Why?" Drusilla pouted in a childlike way, her face transforming into a hideous mask.

"Because you'll kill her love, _that's_ why. She's goin' to cure me."

"No I'm not," Willow's nose wrinkled and she looked at Spike in disgust.

"You bloody will, love. Every night at sunset – if you ain' freed yourself then I'm going to take a little bite." Willow forced her face to stay calm, she bit the inside of her cheek as Spike wheeled backwards and disappeared with Drusilla. _They're insane…all three of them!_ She thought desperately tugging at the chains and trying to loosen them from the wall. When that didn't work she began twisting her wrists about, trying to slip them through the shackles but they were so tight she could feel them biting into her skin and cutting off the circulation. _Buffy please find me!_ She silently pleaded, but how would Buffy find them? She didn't even know where they were! They definitely weren't in the factory anymore. Should she scream? But what would the point in that be? What if there was no one around? Besides the walls looked pretty thick, she was sure no one would hear her. She sat back with her head resting against the wall, shivering from the freezing cold water Angel had dumped over her. Desperately she tried to hug herself but her arms were pulled out too far.

_He's not Angel anymore,_ she told herself. Shifting her weight slightly she drew her legs up to her chest and rested her forehead on her knees. Was there a chance she could be a witch? _Even if I am how can I free myself? I wouldn't even know where to begin!_ She pulled once more at the chains but yelped as her left shoulder twisted painfully. What time was it? The windows were covered in thick black drapes; there wasn't even a crack for the light to seep through. Was it still night? The night he had kidnapped her or was it day? How long has she been out for? _Focus Willow!_ She scolded herself, but no matter how hard she fought she couldn't free herself from the chains. Exhausted Willow's eyes began to slowly shut, her eyelids felt as if they were made from stone and she didn't have the energy to try and keep them open, but each time her body slumped forward to embrace sleep her shoulders screamed in sudden protest and she jerked awake.

"Open your eyes Willow." Shivering violently Willow forced her eyes to open, Angel was crouched down in front of her and shaking his head sadly. "You're not evening _trying_ Will."

"Don't call me that," she hissed not wanting him to use Buffy's nickname for her, she didn't want him to taint it.

"It's like you _want_ Spike to bite you. Do you enjoy being bitten? It's happened a fair few times now hasn't? Didn't it happen the first time you met Buffy? Maybe that's why you're still here." He slid closer and stroked the pulse along her neck, caressing it lovingly. Willow's eyes narrowed to slits as she glared at him. "I think secretly you want this." He wound his hand into her hair and pulled her head back to expose her neck, a small squeak of fear escaping Willow's lips. She wanted to be brave, but the closer he got to her neck the more the fear flooded through her. She wasn't Buffy. She wasn't brave. She wasn't born with powers to fight off demons; she had beaten them so far by pure fluke.

"I don't," she whispered shaking her head. "Please Angel let me go home."

"You know I can't do that," Angel smiled sadly at her, "you'll tell Buffy where we're living. You know she'll drop in uninvited, and I think given I can't return the favour it is rather unfair – don't you?"

" _No_! You'd kill her mum!"

"And she'd kill my family if she came here." Willow's eyes flicked to the doorway where the figures of Drusilla and Spike came into form. "Drusilla and Spike are _my_ family; Buffy's already killed one of us. You remember Darla don't you?" Willow nodded carefully unsure of where he was going with this. "She made me Willow; she was my sire – the strongest bond you can possibly imagine. And Buffy _stole_ that from us. Do you really think I am about to let her steal the rest of my family?"

"I wo -"

" _Don't_ lie to me Willow," his face harden and twisted, "if I let you go you will tell Buffy where we are."

"Then why are you saying I can free myself?" Willow pleaded, "You _know_ I'm not a witch…"

"I am not going through this with you again Willow. You _are_ a witch but until you see it for yourself you will not believe me. As for unchaining yourself, you are free to _try_ and leave but you will fail. I'd still recommend you free yourself from the chains though." He pushed her back roughly so her head hit the wall, black bubbles burst across her vision and she fought back a wave of sickness. Once she'd regained her vision she found herself wishing she hadn't; Spike was kneeling on the floor beside her, a hungry expression on his twisted face.

Willow braced herself for the pain; her hands clenched themselves into tight fists. But no matter how hard she tried to prepare herself for the pain, when Spike tore into her throat she couldn't help screaming. She pulled at the chains desperately, her legs twisting as she drew them up to try and push herself back away from him. _Kick him!_ A voice buried under the pain shouted at her. Forcing her eyes open she could see Spike's blonde hair, she could feel it brushing against her chin as he drank greedily. Angel and Drusilla lounged against the wall, Drusilla looking angry and Angel bored. Fighting to take a breath Willow drew her legs up to her chest and kicked out at Spike, crying out as he was ripped from her throat. She leant her head to the left, trying to press her shoulder against her neck to stem the flow of blood. She glanced at Spike preparing herself for an onslaught of rage, but he simply laughed and relaxed his face back into human features. He licked the blood from his lips and Willow shuddered, that was _her_ blood.

The only way Willow could count the days she was kept captive was by counting how many times Spike bit her. Each night he would wheel over to her, pull himself from his chair and bury his fangs into her neck. By the third night she had no energy to try and kick him away; instead she closed her eyes and prayed that he'd just kill her. "Love if you don't like being fed off why don't you free yourself?" Spike drawled as he licked the blood from her throat.

"I don't know _how_ ," Willow whispered her head lolling to the side. She was too exhausted to try and keep it upright. She was hungry, she was exhausted and she was _freezing_. She was still in the same clothes she had put on the night Angel had abducted her, they had dried but she had never warmed up after the ice bucket.

"Angelus and Dru seem to believe you are a witch," Spike said conversationally and Willow opened her eyes just a crack to glare at them. "Personally I can' stand witches. Meddlesome people." He shuddered, "but if they think you are perhaps it would be bes' if you jus'…went along with it." Willow closed her eyes and tried to block Spike's voice, could she really be a witch? Or was it just a trick Angel was playing on her to drive her mad? She heard the sounds of shuffling as Spike pulled himself back into his chair and left her with her thoughts. _C'mon Willow,_ she told herself. She thought back to the night she had rescinded Angel's invitation; she'd been too scared to focus on what was happening. Had she felt anything? A spark of power? Shifting her position she carefully sat with her back straight against the wall, her legs straight out in front of her. Her arms had gone numb and she blocked them completely from her mind. Instead she focused on the iron shackles tightly binding her hands. Slowing her breathing she focused on the screws inside them, she felt her mind tugging at the screws, twisting them to the left and slowly loosening them. Trying to keep her concentration she looked at her left wrist to see the screw peeking out ever so slightly. She watched in fascination as it spun to the left, slowly loosening, she tried to quell the excitement threatening to consume her. She couldn't lose concentration. If she could break free now then she might stand a chance of getting out of wherever Angel was holding her. Both he and Drusilla had gone out for their nightly hunt, leaving Spike behind to wallow in self-pity. Was her blood healing him? If it was he was keeping quiet, Willow would have to hope that he was still too weak to chase her. Not that she had much strength to run very fast.

Somewhere in the building a door slammed shut and Willow's concentration was lost. She stared in dismay at the screw which was hanging loose, weakly she pulled her left arm to try and jiggle the screw free. She didn't want Angel to know she had figured it out. She _needed_ this! She froze as she heard footsteps thudding against the cold stone floor and dropped her head to the side as Angel came into the room. She watched him approaching, a while polystyrene cup held in one of his large hands. She let out a weak murmur as his free hand gently supported the back of her neck and held her head upright.

"Careful," he warned pressing the cup to her lips, "it's hot." Despite his warning Willow took an eager sip and scalded her tongue. Her eyes flew open and she inhaled the scent of the cup more aware of what was in it.

"What have you done to it?" She asked Angel looking at him with a mixture of fear and suspicion. He'd given her nothing to eat since he had taken her; he'd barely given her a cupful of water over the three nights. Why was he now offering her soup?

"Nothing. I may be a monster Willow but I brought you here for some fun, and I know that you need to eat to survive." He tipped the liquid closer to her lips and Willow blew on it cautiously before taking a grateful sip. She could feel the warmth of the soup seeping down her throat and into her veins. Ignoring the scalding heat she drank it greedily, not even regretting the burning sensation in her throat and chest. When she had finished the soup Angel set the cup to her right and moved closer to her, lowering his lips to hers.

"W – What are you doing?" She asked trying to move her head back but finding his hand still supported it.

"You've got some soup…" Angel whispered and kissed her gently, licking the soup teasingly from her top lip. Willow loathed her body for responding to his kiss, the way her back arched to press herself closer to him and her lips responded against his. Her tongue meeting his as it slipped into her mouth. Her hands moved to push him away, they at least had some sense, but they were held firmly in place. Willow drew back with a gasp of fright as she thought of the screw; she was desperate to keep it in place until Angel had left.

"T - Thank you for the soup," she whispered blushing faintly, "b – but –" she was cut off as his lips met hers once more. "Angel I – I can't," she shook her head and tried to move away from him.

"Why do you call me Angel?" He laughed stroking her hair tenderly, "he's dead Will. He's not going to come back and set you free." In one fluid motion he was on his feet and striding from the room. Willow felt her body relax slightly and her left hand dropped ever so slightly. There was a small _ping_ as the screw popped free and hit the ground, Willow's heart froze and she watched Angel for his reaction but he seemed to have not noticed anything was amiss and left her alone. Closing her eyes she fought to keep her emotions in check as she worked on the remaining screws. She wasn't sure how much time was passing; all she cared about was getting the shackles off.

"C'mon," she whispered looking at the final screw as it began its slow twist to the left. " _Please_ ," she could feel her stomach tightening as she glanced between the door and the screw. She'd not even paused to acknowledge that she was really doing this, that perhaps Angel was right. When the final screw was on the floor she yanked her hands free from the chains and sighed in relief as the tight pressure was released. She rubbed her wrists in turn and felt the circulation slowly return. Her hands felt like ice, impossibly cold compared to the rest of her frozen body. Wanting to waste no time she carefully stood up and rubbed her stiff joints to try and get life back into them. For the first time since her arrival she studied the room she was in, there was a large empty fireplace on the right hand wall, a scattering of comfortable looking chairs and settees and several bookcases lining the wall. She found herself drawn to the bookcases, her fingertips brushing against the ancient leather-bound spines. _This isn't the time Willow,_ a stern voice in her head scolded her. _Run! Angel planned for you to escape, he told you as much – he might be waiting outside the door now!_ Taking a deep breath she forced herself to turn away from the bookcases and cautiously opened the door, she didn't see the point in listening to see if anyone was on the other side, Angel and Drusilla at least would have mastered stealth and she seriously doubted to find Spike on the other side. Quietly she shut the door and looked up and down the hallway, which way? Following the hallway to the left she ran as quietly as possible not paying attention to which way she turned. All she cared about was finding the exit, if she stumbled upon a dead end she simply turned around ran in the opposite direction. Her heart leapt at the sight of the towering door, she sprinted towards it and pulled with all her might, but it wouldn't budge. For a fleeting second she was about to give up, but a small smile twisted her lips upwards. Hadn't she just escaped from been shackled to a wall? Kneeling down she rested her hand on the lock of the door and closed her eyes. Angel had meant for her to escape, he had known she would use whatever powers she had to unshackle herself – had he not thought she would then use the same power to unlock the door?

Her smile widened as she felt the locks shifting underneath her powers. She was so close to freedom she could taste it, she could almost feel the golden sun caressing her skin – even if it was night she was sure the moon would fill her with warmth. As the lock finally clicked and released she jumped to her feet with a gleeful cry and pulled the door open.

"Did you honestly think you would be able to just walk away from here?" A hand shot in front of her vision and closed the door, but not before Willow's green eyes caught a glimpse of blinding sunlight. She felt her hopes crash around her as the door slammed shut. _Fight him!_ She was too close to freedom to give up now, without knowing where she mustered the strength from Willow swept her arm forwards and knocked Angel off his feet. As she turned to pull the door open she felt her legs fall out from beneath herself. A wave of dizziness swept over her, she felt as if she were on a ride at a carnival. _Too much,_ she scolded herself. She had not eaten properly in three days, drunk or slept. She was too exhausted. _That's why he let me escape,_ she realised how foolish she'd been – but she wouldn't be foolish again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Miss Edith says you and I will soon be sisters." Drusilla cooed as she combed Willow's wet hair. She had suffered the humiliation of Drusilla bathing her, too exhausted to put up much of a fight. Now she sat in front of a mirror-less dresser in a hand-me-down dress from Drusilla. It was old fashioned with an empire waist-line and puffy sleeves. A fire had been lit and there were several candles and chandeliers which filled the room with warm and light, but still Willow could not stop shivering. "Daddy will sire you amd we will be a family." Drusilla leant over Willow's shoulder and kissed her cheek, but as she pulled away she moved down to give her throat a teasing lick. "Maybe you will even be my new mummy…"

"I – I won't let him change me into a – a – a monster." Willow spat, her teeth chattering. She cried out as Drusilla pulled on her hair, _hard_ , sending her head flying backwards so that she was forced to stare up at the ceiling.

"You will _respect_ Angelus!" Drusilla raged baring her fangs.

" _Drusilla_!" Willow's head flew forwards as she pulled against Drusilla's grip and the woman released her suddenly. Angel stood in the door glaring furiously at the female vampire. "Willow is our _guest_ –"

" _Prisoner_ ," Willow corrected him vehemently. "A guest is free to leave."

"You are free to leave Willow," Angel smiled warmly at her and pulled her to her feet. "All you have to do is walk out the door without me seeing you." He held onto her arms but took a step back to survey her appearance. "We may have to take the dresses up a bit Dru, she's so small…like a pixie." His right hand trailed up to cup her chin and Angel smiled fondly at her. "There's some food for you in the kitchen, once Dru and I are back we will discuss your future."

"You mean I get a say in my future?"

"Probably not, but you'll at least know about what's coming." Angel swept an arm around Willow and clasped her right shoulder tightly, preventing her from squirming free. "Now you sit tight, and keep Spike company." Willow braced herself, expecting to be chained to a wall, but Angel merely patted her cheek and pushed her into the main room where Spike was sitting and glaring glumly into the fire. "Don't think you'll be able to run away. If I come back and you're not here, things will get much worse for you." Willow nodded and watched him leave with Drusilla. Turning she opened her mouth to say something to Spike, but she was at a loss for words; what did you say to your best friends sworn enemy? To someone who had tried to kill her multiple times? Drawing a blank she could only stare.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not polite to stare?" Spike didn't take his eyes away from the fire as he spoke.

"D - Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not polite to kidnap or m - murder?" Willow shot back, surprised when Spike let out a small scoff.

"I can't argue with murder; it wasn't me who kidnapped you though. I promise not to bite if that's why you're hovering in the doorway like that. Well...not in the next ten minutes at least. I'm not feeling hungry yet." Hesitantly, Willow walked towards the fire; unsure whether he was joking or not.

"I thought vampires healed quickly." She said sitting in front of the fire as close as she could without setting herself ablaze. The dress Drusilla had given her was a flimsy fabric and did nothing to keep her warm.

"Supernatural injuries take longer to heal - not to mention been half-burnt in a fire. Don't worry pet, I'll be back on my feet in no time."

"Can't wait," Willow murmured. Silence fell between them and when she was sufficiently warm, Willow stood up.

"I don't need to remind you, only a fool would try to escape."

"I'm just looking around," Willow promised. The mansion was, unsurprisingly, huge. Willow wondered into the courtyard but quickly retreated back inside; the temptation to run up the steps was overwhelming. Where would she go if she did run away? Angel knew where she lived and her friends; there would be no safe haven. In theory they could lock themselves inside someone's house for safety and leave at day for supplies, but what kind of life would that be? And practical?

Her eyes scanned every inch of the mansion for a phone but there was nothing, there wasn't even any electricity. She couldn't think of any way to let Buffy know where she was, that she was alive. She opened each door that she came across, quickly closing the ones which were clearly the vampires' bedrooms. One door she came across was locked, it was close to the other bedrooms and she pressed her ear to the door. Was there someone else here?

"Hello?" She knocked tentatively, unsure of why. Did she want to know who, if anyone, was inside?

"There's no one in there pet." Willow jumped as Spike appeared behind her, she'd not heard him.

"Then why is it locked?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Spike said and Willow flinched at his ominous tone. "They'll be back soon, you should go eat."

"I'm not hungry," Willow said but she followed him automatically to the kitchen. The mansion was spread over several floors, but the three vampires seemed to have set up their living quarters on the ground floor.

"There's a library upstairs, or so I'm told." Spike commented as they walked past a stone staircase. "Eat first, then you can go read." The food Angel had left for her was sparse; a box of cereal and carton of milk which smelt like it was about to turn. She made herself a generous helping and sat at a marble counter to eat, Spike watching her thoughtfully. "You're really not going to try and flee?"

"Where would I go?" Willow asked, "We've all been researching Angel, Angelus." She corrected herself.

"And?" Spike seemed genuinely surprised.

"Where would I go? He can get into my house and harm my parents, he knows who my friends are; my best friend is who he's really after." Something flickered across Spike's face and Willow paused, the spoon hovering in mid-air. "What?"

"I think his original intentions may have changed. He still wants the slayer, that's a given. But this isn't his usual style, by now she should have found your mutilated body on her doorstep or nailed to a bookcase in the Watcher's precious library." Willow flinched and set the spoon down, pushing the bowl away. "Your innards all twisted -"

"Stop," Willow pleaded. "I...we saw some of the...I get the picture." Willow pushed a book that she and Buffy had found in one of Giles's filing cabinets. He had wanted to prepare Buffy for the worst, while still trying to protect her.

"My point is you've been here for about a week now, and you're still alive. You're still walking, your limbs are all intact...that's not Angelus's normal style when he's using you as bait." From what she had read on Angelus, Willow had to admit Spike was right, she should either be dead by now or in an excruciating amount of pain. So why wasn't she?

"Best not to think about it love."

"Think about what?" Angel and Drusilla appeared in the doorway, the black of their clothing and dark coloured hair almost moulded them into the shadows. Willow tried not to focus on the blood staining their mouths. _Miss Edith says you and I will soon be sisters..._

"N - Nothing," Willow stammered rising to her feet.

"I brought you a present," Angel's voice was cold and mocking as he held up an object which Willow recognised instantly as her backpack. She shook her head as she looked at the bulging back, it was stuffed with more than it could carry.

"You were in my home?"

"Your mother sends her regards," Angel dropped the bag at her feet and Willow felt her legs crumple beneath her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"You bloody pillock!" Spike's voice was muffled and Willow fought to wake up. What had happened?

"I had no idea she'd faint!" Angel was clearly laughing, his voice filled with mirth. Fainted? Why? But the answer was clear as soon as she managed to open her eyes; her backpack lay close by to the bed she'd been put on. She bolted upright and scooted backwards from it, sending Angel into fresh peals of laughter.

"It's not what you think," Spike pushed his chair around the bed and picked up the backpack. Unzipping it, he upended the bag and emptied clothes onto the floor.

"I...I…" Willow felt her cheeks flare red-hot. Angel came into view and gripped her chin, the laughter was gone from his eyes.

"I reward good behaviour, Willow. Remember that. But if you ever give me a reason, I'll be more than happy in stuffing your mother's head into a bag." His face morphed into his vampiric expression and he stared at her for what felt like a full minute before finally relaxing his features and releasing her.

"She's safe?"

"For now." Willow stood up and hugged herself nervously, her eyes flitting around the room. It was sparsely furnished with a simple bed covered in blankets and a dresser. It was a small room with only one window which was boarded up, it resembled a cell more than a bedroom. With Angel, Drusilla and Spike crowding into the room she felt almost claustrophobic. "I wanted to tell you what we had planned for you, but with your little nap we've run short of time. This is your room, now do I need to lock the door or can you be trusted?" Willow looked at the floor hating herself, she wanted to spit in his face and tell him where to go. But knowing he could get into her home, had _been_ in her home only that night…

"You can trust me," she whispered thickly blinking back tears.

"She's not stupid," Spike wheeled past her carefully and as he did Willow swore he brushed his hand against hers sympathetically. She shook the thought away, it was just her imagination; she was trying to find a friend where there was none. She was utterly alone. "She's done her homework on you Angelus, she knows the consequences."

"Guess that just means I'll need to get creative…" Angel reached out and stroked Willow's hair, picking up a lock and lowering his head to sniff it. As he pulled away he let out a small laugh, as if he had just thought of something particularly funny. "Spike will fetch you when we're ready for you. Until then, you're free to do as you please within the walls of our home." Spike's face darkened at the suggestion he was there to do Angel's bidding. Slowly Angel walked out of the room, but paused in the doorway. "Give me one of your shirts." He looked at Willow and she stared back at him in blatant confusion. "Willow, don't make me ask twice."

Gathering her senses Willow quickly scooped up a dark long-sleeve top and held it out for Angel, but he shook his head.

"No…" He moved closer to her and began sorting through the small bundle. Willow tried not to feel too outraged at thought of him rifling through her clothes, she realised in horror, he had been through her bedroom and most likely rifled through a lot more than just shirts, blouses, skirts and trousers. Finally he picked out a long sleeve blouse, pale blue in colour. "Perfect," he flashed Willow a grin and closed the door behind him. She waited for the ominous click of a lock but there was nothing. He was really going to let her wander?

 _Reliable Willow,_ she thought sinking onto the bed and looking at the now empty backpack. Had she been foolish jumping to the conclusion that her mother's head had been in the backpack? Why on earth had she even jumped to that conclusion? Leaving the clothes on the bed Willow left the room and made her way through the mansion. She remembered what Spike had said and moved to the upper levels where she found the library on the second floor. It was clear the mansion had been abandoned for a long time, and that none of Angel and his crew had used the room much. The room was covered in a thick layer of dust with large cobwebs in the corners. Willow let out a small sound of disgust as she opened one of the books only for it to fall apart in her hands. If she had hoped to find anything useful it would take time.

Deciding to at least do something about the gloom, Willow yanked the heavy curtains from the pole. She coughed as dust flew up her nose and into her mouth, coating her throat in a thick layer. When she had recovered she turned to look outside. The sun had risen but it was still early in the morning. She was looking down on a road, but it was clear it was one people rarely used. She tried to place the mansion and worked out she was on the very edge of town, a smart place to hide; why would Buffy or anyone come this far out? If Willow had guessed her location correctly the mansion had been abandoned for decades and although not a town secret, very few people knew of its existence. The owners had been elderly and simply died, no supernatural occurences to make it an object of fascination like so many other places in Sunnydale. It had simply slipped into the relics of history.

Ignoring the thick layer of dust, Willow sat on the window seat. She lowered herself carefully but still a thick cloud rose and she waved it away rapidly. It was nice just to feel the sun's rays against her back.

Willow passed the day sitting there and silently contemplating the room. Every so often she would stand up and pass amongst the shelves, but they were books of common knowledge; history, geographically, several languages and even some fiction. Nothing on the occult or even remotely supernatural. She couldn't help feeling disappointed.

Sitting back on the windowseat, Willow rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes. When she next opened them the sky was a deep pink. Looking down at the now filthy dress she decided to go and change into her own clothes. She was glad she hadn't done that straight away; she hoped Drusilla would be upset by the state of her dress. Willow had barely finished changing into a pair of dungarees and a dark jumper when there was a knock at the door.

"You best prepare yourself love, I don't think you're in for a pleasant evening." Self-consciously Willow touched the wound on her neck where Spike had bitten her. "Not that, we need to be careful not to kill you. I already fed from you more than I should have."

"Why are you being...nice to me?" Willow hesitated as she thought of a word, but that was the only way she could describe how Spike was being. "This isn't you...I - I've met you several times. You're not nice, you're evil." Spike seemed genuinely pleased as if she had just complimented him and he grinned broadly.

"Thank you! You know next to Angelus I thought -"

"I wasn't complimenting you," Willow cut him off. "But out of the two of you…"

"I'm taking pity on you love." Spike fished into the front pocket of his red shirt and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. Selecting one he clasped it between his lips and lit it, taking a long drag before setting back in his chair and looking up at Willow. "I'm all for a bit of torture but this…"

"T - Then help me leave!" Willow pleaded.

"I said I'm taking pity on you love, but I'm still a demon. Besides, what could I do that you couldn't? You can walk out the door anytime, we're literally bound to the darkness." Willow felt her shoulders sag and she followed him into the kitchen. Her nose twitched at a tantalising aroma and she found a cardboard box with a pizza inside on the counter.

"What an age we live in," Spike commented as Willow bit into a slice. "Food delivered to the door…"

"You said it won't be a pleasant evening, what makes it different from the others?"

"You'll see...I will give you some advice though. Do what they say; if you see a chance for escape tonight, don't take it." Willow followed Spike's gaze and saw the blouse Angel had taken from her on the counter, a pair of scissors and ball of string next to it. She dropped the second slice of pizza as Angel and Drusilla walked into the room, their faces bearing their demon masks and their fronts stained with blood. Angel was cupping something in his hands and he smiled maliciously at Willow as he dropped the object onto her blouse. Willow stared in stunned horror at the bloody heart on her top, crying out when Angel seized from her from behind. Willow struggled against him, taken back to the night at the school when he had grabbed her.

"Get off me!" She kicked and flailed but Angel was built like a rock and her scratches left little impact. Her eyes were fixated on the heart which Drusilla was using to draw patterns on the pale blouse. "Stop it!"

"Oh stop struggling, it's too much of a turn-on and we have work to do." Willow let out a cry of disgust and stamped down on Angel's foot. With a roar he let go and Willow fell crashing into the corner. "Bitch!" She seized the scissors and held them out protectively, but she knew fighting was going to be useless. Angel's face transformed into his human features as he laughed at her. "I'll make it easy for you Will," he said and pulled his shirt open. "You get one shot." She looked at his exposed chest, her hand trembling.

"It wouldn't kill you," she said lowering the scissors. Listlessly she felt them pulled free and looked up to see Drusilla beside her, fangs bared.

"Naughty," she tutted. "You should show Angelus respect."

"She'll learn. Now stay still, if you move Drusilla might cut off an ear by accident." Willow glared but she did as commanded, closing her eyes and flinching when Drusilla lifted a lock of her. There was the sound of snipping as the woman cut her hair and then; nothing. Opening her eyes Willow watched as Drusilla bound the lock up with a piece of the string then wrapped the heart and hair in the blouse. "Come on." Angel took Willow's arm and hauled her from the kitchen. He paused in the courtyard and ripped a length of fabric from his shirt. Tightly he tied it over Willow's eyes, her hands moved to loosen it but he pushed them away.

"It's too tight," she said surprised when he did loosen the blindfold. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Cold hands swallowed her own and Willow tentatively followed as she was blindly led up a staircase.

They took a car journey, Willow tried to memorise the turns but with the blindfold on she couldn't keep track of which direction they were going. She was sure several times the car went in circles just to confuse her.

"Drusilla, you know where to go?"

"Of course."

"Be careful, they'll be around no doubt." Car doors opened and closed, strong hands pulled Willow out but rather than helping her out of the car she felt herself being carried. "Not a word," Angel growled and from the thickness of his voice Willow could tell he was in vamp mode. She nodded to show she'd heard, the urge to scream was overwhelming but without knowing where they were she didn't want to risk it. When her feet touched solid ground the blindfold was pulled off and Willow shook her head, stumbling as she tried to bring the world into focus. She instantly recognised Sunnydale High School and she looked at Angel in confusion.

Cautiously, Willow followed Angel as he made his way to the back entrance of the library, slipping through the door and hidden between the stacks. He reached out and grabbed Willow's wrist, squeezing it in painful warning. Willow's heart was hammering and her palms grew slick with sweat; what were they doing here? She shook her head at Angel; Spike's words clear in her mind. This was going to be an unpleasant evening?

"Her mom said someone was in her room - her wardrobe was open and there's clothes missing. The police came but…" Willow's heart ached and she bit down into her free hand to stop herself from calling out. Buffy was there; dare she hope? From the sound of footsteps she was walking into the library, the doors swinging shut behind her. Angel pulled her close, as if sensing her urge to peer around the bookcase.

"That's good though right?" Xander's voice was torn between grief and painful optimism. "If Angel was there...why would he get clothes for her if she...if she wasn't...he only needs clothes for her if he…"

"She could still be alive, yes." Giles's voice was oddly calming and Willow felt tears leak from her eyes. "But...Buffy it has been over a week. If we find her -"

" _When_. Giles I'm not giving up on her! Willow's smart, she'll think of something…"

"It's not a question of intelligence Buffy. Angelus wants to hurt you, he...he…" Giles's voice trailed off and a heavy silence filled the air. Angel's grip relaxed ever so slightly and he nodded to Willow, as if giving her permission to look. He held a finger to his lips, his yellow eyes glowing in warning. Carefully Willow peered around the corner of the bookcase; the blouse and heart suddenly making sense. Angel pulled her back almost instantly, cupping his hand over her mouth.

"No!" Xander cried, "it's not...that's not…"

"It's her shirt...I've seen her wear it."

"This is your fault!" Xander cried and the burning hatred in his voice twisted Willow's heart. "She didn't deserve this! She was good! And you...you should have protected her!"

"I tried!"

"How? By cuddling up to the demon you're meant to _slay_? I told you -"

"Xander! Enough!" Giles's voice was cold and Willow felt herself shaking; she had never heard him so angry. "Buffy…" There was the sound of sobbing and Willow felt her breath hitch in her throat.

"If you say a word I will rip their hearts out and make you watch." Angelus growled in her ear.

"I'll kill him!"

"Buffy -"

"No let her Giles! You should have made her do her job when she first found out -" There was the sound of bone crunching and Willow winced.

"Shut up!" Buffy screamed. "I loved her! She was my _friend_! Do you think I wanted this for her? For you? Jenny? I can't protect you - that's why the Slayer works alone!" A heated argument ensued and Willow struggled against Angel, desperate to stop her friends before they killed each other.

"Giles!"

"Where is he?" Buffy's voice was growing hysterical.

"Probably to do what you should have done, _again_. Notice this is the second time Giles has tried to do your job where it concerns Angel?"

"I _will_ hit you again." There was a long silence. "I never…"

"Just stop. C'mon before we lose Giles too." Angel waited a few minutes before nodding to Willow that she could move. She followed him quickly out the back and through to the car park, keeping to the shadows. The car was empty and Angel let out a growl.

"She should be back by now…" Looking between Willow and the car, Angel clucked his tongue. Taking out the strip of fabric, Willow was caught off-guard when he used it as a gag and shoved her unceremoniously into the boot of the car. "Not a _sound_." He growled at her before shutting the boot carefully.

Willow didn't hesitate in taking the gag out, he'd not bothered to bind her hands in his hurry to lock her in the car. Her hands fumbled around trying to find a way out of the boot but she couldn't find a way. She tried to concentrate on opening the boot, on summoning a power, but she was too restless. From outside she could hear muffled shouts signalling a fight. Inching around Willow was able to position herself so she could see through the keyhole of the boot. She saw Buffy, Angel and Drusilla; no sign of Giles or Xander.

"HELP!" Willow shouted, she didn't care if Angel heard her or not. She began kicking against the interior of the boot and bouncing her weight against the side, trying to make the car move to signal where she was. "GILES! XANDER!" Through the slim gap in the keyhole she saw two figures turn to look at her, before one exploded in a cloud of ash.

A roar filled the air, filling Willow's core with terror.

"Where is she?" Buffy screamed as she turned her attention onto the remaining figure, Willow could only assume it was Angel. But before the Slayer could lunge at him, she was surrounded by a gang of vampires.

"Her suffering will look like paradise when I am done with you." Angel vowed. The car roared into life and Willow was slammed from side to side as Angel gunned the engine. He moved the car with such violence that Willow fought to stop herself from throwing up. When finally he slammed the brakes on Willow cried out as her head banged against the side. "I told you to stay QUIET!"

Willow was torn from the car with such force her shoulders were almost wrenched from their sockets. Gripping her arms Angel forced her down the stairs into the courtyard, practically tossing her the last few so that Willow stumbled and fell onto the hard concrete. She landed on her arm with a sickening crunch; white hot pain flaring through her right side.

"What's going on?" Spike stopped his chair between the girl and demon. "Where's Dru?"

"Dead!" Angelus growled. "Because of _her_!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Willow touched a damp cloth to her lip, wincing at the stinging sensation. She examined herself in the mirror, her left eye was swollen shut and a deep black-blue in colour, her lip was split and her face covered in an assortment of scratches and bruises. Taking a deep breath, Willow steadied herself and almost doubled over in pain. She was sure she had a few cracked ribs.

Carefully Willow moved through the ground floor of the mansion, leaning against the wall to keep her balance. Angelus had taken out his anger and grief on her savagely when they had returned from Sunnydale High. She'd tried to take the lashings without crying, but when he had lashed her back with a whip she had given in and screamed. She was sure the wounds were still oozing.

She found Spike sitting in front of the fireplace drinking and smoking, he'd clearly been at it for a while given the empty bottles littering his feet. Willow turned to sneak back out of the room, in no mood to talk to the obviously grieving vampire.

"She deserved better."

"She's a demon," Willow shot at Spike turning to look at him. "You all deserve to be on the pointy end of a stake." She half-regretted the words as she said them and Spike smiled sarcastically at her.

"But you were so convinced Angelus was one of the good guys." He pointed his half-drunk bottle at her and Willow wrinkled her nose at the smell of whisky. "Would a good guy do that?"

"He's not a good guy, he's not Angel anymore." Willow said, finally moving into the room and lowering herself carefully onto the floor.

"You should be resting."

"Why, so he can do this again?" Spike said nothing and instead held out the whisky bottle. Willow didn't see the point in reminding him she was underage; what out of this whole situation was legal? She took a deep drink, choking as her throat and belly filled with fire.

"If I know Angelus, he has worse things planned."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Willow took another drink before handing him back the bottle. "Where is he?"

"Out for blood," the way Spike spoke made Willow shudder. She looked down at her clothes and jumped up, crying out in pain at the agonising pain of the sudden movement. Spike lunged forward and caught her. "What's wrong?"

"You're walking!" Willow accused. Spike looked sheepish and quickly settled back in his chair after helping her to sit back down, "I'm not stupid -"

"Then you'll know to keep that pretty mouth shut." Spike glowered, "why did you jump up like that?"

"My parents…" Spike looked at her sympathetically. "If he blames me for Drusilla then who's to say he's not out there now? He said it himself - give him a reason to stuff my mother's head in a bag." Tears flooded Willow's eyes but she couldn't blink her left eye to clear it.

"I don't know love." Spike leant back in his chair. "What happened yesterday?"

"He didn't tell you?" Willow was in no mood to recount the previous night.

"Love he was too busy dealing with you and plotting revenge on your friends to talk to me." Willow reached out for the whisky bottle and stared into the fire.

"They took me to the school, he was playing a cruel prank on them. The heart wrapped in my blouse with my hair...they thought it was me." The heated argument, the tormented grief...Willow tried to force them from her mind. Did they still think she was dead or had they heard her in the car? "When we went back to the car, Drusilla wasn't there. Angel...Angelus," she hardened her tone. "Locked me in the trunk and gagged me - but he'd left my hands free. I took the gag off and screamed, I couldn't see much except through the hole in the boot. I saw them fighting then...she was gone."

Spike snatched the bottle of whisky back, his face becoming a blank mask as he turned to look into the fire. Willow pressed a hand to her ribs, suddenly the half-bottle of whisky didn't seem like a good idea.

"Have you ever drunk from a vampire?" Spike asked casually, his eyes never leaving the fire.

"No," Willow looked at him, genuinely repulsed. "Besides I'm not a vampire."

"I suppose the Watcher would think he was protecting you. Surely you know that to become a vampire you have to be drained to the point of death before drinking your sire's blood?" Willow nodded. "So drinking a vampire's blood would do you no harm, unless you were almost dead. In fact drinking blood could be beneficial; it would heal some of your injuries."

"I - I'd rather stick with the injuries," Willow shakily stood up but found her path out of the room blocked by Angelus. His face was morphed but the grief in his yellow eyes was clear.

"Spike's right, it wouldn't harm you." The light from the fire bounced off something sharp in Angelus's hand. "You should get used to the taste of blood. My family is slowly being destroyed; I can't have that. Drusilla, Darla -"

"You killed Darla," Willow pointed out and cried as she was sent reeling backwards.

"The Slayer made me weak." Angelus roared. "But not anymore. You're going to do a little spell for me, and then I'm going to rebuild what she has tried to destroy." Willow flinched as something hit her side and she looked down at the ancient book Angelus had thrown at her. Spike remained silent, his eyes never leaving the fire.

"I - I'm not doing anything for you."

"Drusilla is dead -"

"Because of your own bloody stupidity and hers." Spike growled from his chair. Willow stooped to pick up the book, grimacing at the pain and biting back a cry. Realising bending was not an option she knelt beside the book, trying to keep as upright as possible from the waist up. She could feel Angelus's eyes on her and she was determined not to show her pain.

"How do you know she's dead?" Willow asked, a spark of hope threatening to ignite within. "They all know you both care about her…"

"Do you really think the Slayer would be foolish enough to keep a vampire as powerful as Drusilla hostage, in hopes of a trade?" Willow shook her head and tried to quash the feeling, but it continued to nag at her. She turned her attention back to the book, noticing that it had landed at an open page.

"She has a point," There was the sound of sloshing as Spike poured a second drink and handed the crystal tumbler to Angelus. "Under normal circumstances a Slayer wouldn't be so foolish, but I've killed two and we both know this isn't an ordinary Slayer. They may well have Dru and, no offence love, I'd much rather have her back in exchange."

"None taken. I'm in full-agreement" Willow murmured her fingers tracing the spell on the open page. She closed the book feeling her mouth go dry, standing up she reached for the bottle of whisky and took a deep drink. "I'm not doing that." She looked Angelus squarely in the eye and weakly threw the book towards him. "You're going to kill me anyway, so no. I won't do anything to help you."

"What is it?" Spike asked looking between the two.

"Our little Witch here is going to do a spell that ensures my protection against the Slayer. She's going to bind us."

"Bind you?" Spike arched an eyebrow.

"If either of us die, the other would perish." Willow said coldly. "You must realise I would kill myself if it meant you would die with me."

Willow and Angelus continued to stare daggers at each other as Spike sat staring between the two. As the silence lengthened a smile seemed to stretch across Angelus's lips and he turned to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Willow asked, her fear overwhelming her momentary bravery. She shouldn't have spoken out, she should have kept quiet.

"Leverage." Angelus said simply.

"No!" Willow cried and lunged to grab him, ignoring the fire which tore through her ribs.

"You'll do the spell?" Angelus asked, his voice cold and taunting.

"No...I can't," Willow said helplessly. What had her life been like before Buffy? If she had never moved to Sunnydale, would Willow now be at home sleeping safely in her bed? Or would she be dead? Mysterious killings hadn't been uncommon before Buffy's arrival in Sunnydale, who was to say Willow still wouldn't have joined their ranks?

"You have until sunset. If your answer is still no…" Angelus shrugged.

"I can't do something this powerful," Willow tried to argue.

"Then I will find someone who can. It's your choice Willow, either you do the spell or someone else will. But either way, our fates will be entwined."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Willow carefully lowered herself into one of the seats, holding her ribs gingerly. The whisky had done little to soothe the pain and she took another deep drink.

"Careful, pet." Spike tried to ease the bottle from her grip but Willow clung on. "Getting drunk is hardly going to help."

"It might make me feel better," She replied glumly.

"Not when you wake up with a splitting hangover it won't." Spike's tone was full of knowledge that Willow relinquished her grip on the bottle.

"What am I going to do?" Willow asked helplessly, surprised that she was genuinely asking for Spike's opinion.

"Become mine?"

"I'm not that drunk...I don't think I'm even tipsy." Willow arched an eyebrow.

"I'm serious. Do you really think you will be able to go back home? Angelus is out for blood and sooner or later he'll kill you. Why become his when you could become mine?" Spike was suddenly sitting beside her, his hands cupping either side of her face. _Maybe I am drunk,_ Willow thought.

"I don't want to be anyone's," she said growing uncomfortably aware of how close their bodies were. She found herself staring into Spike's eyes, startled to see they were a glorious shade of blue; an azure sky in the summer. Without her realising, Spike's hands had gently slipped behind her head and brought her closer where he brushed his lips against hers. The softness of his lips were surprisingly comforting and Willow surrendered herself, ignoring the taste of whisky. Up until now, she had only ever been kissed by Oz and she found herself caught off-guard by how gentle Spike was. With her eyes closed she could almost trick herself into thinking it was Oz who cradled her. Oz. Sharply, Willow pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't," Willow said. "Kissing vampires hasn't exactly done Buffy any favours, I can't do this."

"To be fair it wasn't the kissing that led to this." Willow felt her face turn crimson and she glared at Spike in outrage. "I knew Angelus when he was cursed, you thought we didn't know what had happened? What they did isn't anything to be ashamed of...well...actually it is. A vampire shouldn't sink so low as to bedding a _Slayer_." He visibly shuddered and Willow pushed him away.

"I'm going to bed," she murmured, climbing to her feet and pressing a hand to her ribs.

"Here," Spike carefully helped her to sit into his abandoned wheelchair and began pushing her towards her room. She looked over her shoulder nervously as he closed the door behind them. "Relax, I just don't want Angelus to hear." He murmured and leant down to pick Willow up, at his gesture she put her arms around his neck. "You should think about what I said. Do you really think you will be able to go back to a normal life?"

"No...but I don't want to be a vampire. Besides, if we left how do I know Angelus won't come after us? Or kill my friends?"

"He'll kill them eventually, and once you're sired he'll lose interest."

"I don't want to be a vampire." Willow insisted and Spike set her on the bed, sitting beside her.

"That's the thing, love. None of us do, it's not something we have a choice in." Spike's face was oddly sympathetic which filled Willow with more fear than any of Angelus's threats ever could. "You're being given something very few of us have a choice in. Either I can sire you, and we leave Sunnydale forever. Or Angelus sires you…" He left the sentence hang and Willow rolled her eyes and turned her head away so he wouldn't see her cry.

"I'm not going to become one of you." She said stonily. "Please...just go away."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Willow spent the day alone with her thoughts, several times she tried to sleep but failed miserably. Both her body and mind were wide awake, which was unfortunate as it meant the pain in her ribs was constant. She couldn't stop turning over Spike's words in her head but no matter what he said, she didn't care. She wasn't going to become a vampire. He may not have had a choice, but she did. She would make sure of it.

With the windows boarded shut and no clocks in the room it was impossible to tell what the time was. Willow could only tell when the sun had set by the sounds outside the door. She heard footsteps pause just outside and tensed; it could only be Angelus. She had no idea why Spike was faking his injuries but knew he wouldn't risk being caught.

" _Either you do the spell, or someone else will."_ Angelus's voice rang clearly through Willow's mind, so clearly she had to look over her shoulder to make sure he wasn't standing beside the bed. The door to the room creaked open and Willow quickly burrowed beneath the blankets, shut her eyes and tried to even out her breathing.

"Pathetic." Angelus scoffed and she clenched her fists beneath the blanket. "You realise I know you're awake? You breathe differently when asleep, it's not something you can convincingly fake to a vampire."

"Go away." Willow said, refusing to turn and look at him.

"Fair enough, if that's your answer. I'm quite happy to fill this place with humans to do my bidding - would save me hunting every night." Carefully Willow sat up. "Spike was telling you the truth, our blood would heal."

"And you'll just hurt me more," Willow said. "Please, why won't you just let me go? You must know I couldn't possibly do a spell that powerful. I've only just learnt I'm a witch, I'm sure power like that doesn't come overnight."

"True, but it does come to those with natural power quicker than someone who dabbles in black arts. I'm not asking you to do it now -"

"You're not _asking_ me at all." Willow pointed out before she could stop herself.

"True. I'm not _telling_ you to do it now, but you will soon. Or someone else will." Willow kept silent and looked down at the blanket. "Which of your friends would you like to see die first?"

" _None_ of them." Willow answered. What was the likelihood of that? At this point she doubted any of her friends would survive, and for the first time she began to feel a burning rage against Buffy. How could she be so stupid as to fall in love with a vampire? The very creature it was her duty to wipe out? She conveniently forgot that she had championed Buffy and Angel being an item, that she had helped him on several occasions and that he had saved her life on even more.

"I think you need to learn just how cruel life can be. You've led a sheltered one, but it's time to learn what life truly means." He left before Willow could get up, by the time she had made it to the door Angelus was gone. Instead Spike was sitting outside her door with a tray on his lap and he gestured for her to go back into the room.

"There's nothing you can do, and I'm hardly going to let you chase after him." Spike handed her a glass of water and two tablets. "Pain killers, nothing sinister." He promised as she looked at them sceptically. There was no reason to believe him, but there was also no reason not too. "He's clearly damaged your ribs, the best to hope for is a bruise or crack but if the damage is more severe you won't know until it's too late."

"I'm not taking your blood," Willow said swallowing the tablets and washing them down with several gulps of water. She was surprised when Spike handed her a freezing cold bundle and she unwrapped a towel to discover a pack of ice. She placed it under her shirt, grimacing at the cold. For a while she sat with Spike in a somewhat companionable silence, her mind ticking over what Angelus was planning. She wanted to refuse the spell, but at the end of the day it was her only choice. And if she bound them together, then she would have to kill herself. She didn't want to die, she desperately wanted to get out of this alive. But at the cost of how many friends' lives? No. This was the only way. "I need a shower." She said, rising to her feet, "thanks for this." She placed the ice pack back on the tray and finished the glass of water.

The shower was blissfully hot and Willow stood under the shower head with her eyes closed. The dream she'd had of Drusilla was fresh in her mind, the words now making too much sense. _"He will be your death and you will be his."_ Was this why Angelus wanted her to do the binding spell? But what if he sired her? Surely she would be dead which would trigger the spell? _Well then we'll both be dead._ Willow told herself, _happy times._ But what if it didn't work like that? The spell might work and kill Angelus, but would she still awake as a vampire? She would have died, what if the spell died when she did?

Gingerly Willow dried herself off and dressed in jeans, a loose t-shirt and a large jumper. When she emerged from the bathroom she felt no better, but she did at least feel cleaner. Her stomach growled in protest; she'd not eaten the night before, but she ignored it. She couldn't stomach the thought of food.

The book Angelus had thrown at her was still in one of the spacious living rooms with the fireplace. It was lying open on the table, as if Angelus had known she would wander to retrieve it. It was clearly an old book, but at least written in English. From the scrawled notes along the page Willow guessed it was a translated copy. Would the spell even work? Taking the book, Willow began to explore the upper levels of the mansion. Opening a door on the second floor she found the library. It was a medium sized room crammed with mismatched bookcases all full to the brim with books. Two chintz armchairs were placed haphazardly towards the back of the room and close to a boarded up window there was a desk with uncomfortable looking chair. Willow set the book on the table planning to see if there was anything here that could help her, but Spike's voice cut her off.

" _By now she should have found your mutilated body on her doorstep or nailed to a bookcase in the Watcher's precious library."_

The image of seeing herself nailed to a bookcase was enough to make her flee back to the ground floor. _Just tell him you'll do the spell._ Willow told herself as she braced her right hand against a wall. The room was spinning and she desperately tried to steady everything. Get the spell done. She would have to find the courage to end not only Angelus's life but her own somehow, but for now surely this would at least appease him?

A loud crashing noise followed by shouting made Willow jump and she made her way towards the noise. Angelus emerged from a room something bulky grasped in his right hand. Before Willow could speak he had grabbed one of her arms and was pulling her back to the room she had found the book in. She gasped involuntarily at the spasm of pain.

"Sit down and don't say a word." She had no choice as Angelus pushed her into a chair, before she could get a sense of what was going on there was a click followed by a blinding flash. "These are pretty cool." When dark spots had cleared and Willow could see again she saw Angelus was flapping a small white square in the air. She followed his gaze to a Polaroid camera.

"What's that for?" She asked suspiciously, dread mounting within her.

"Normally I like to leave little sketches; but that would take too long and I don't think you'll sit till."

"Sketches?"

"I need the Slayer to know you're alive. A picture she might believe," Angelus handed her the photo and Willow stared at it taking note of the date splashed across the bottom right corner. "Write 'I'm fine'." She didn't argue and forced her hand to stop shaking, she wanted her writing to be legible but clearly recognisable as her own. The picture itself was hardly flattering; her hair was damp from the shower showing she wasn't living in squalor, but that was perhaps the most comforting point from the photo. The cut on her lip along with several bruises were still visible. It was just lucky the photo wasn't an x-ray. "Now come with me."

"Angelus, wait." Willow said. "I - I'll do the spell."

"You will?"

"Yes." Willow nodded, "I - I just need time. This is a translated copy, I want to read it through properly to make sure it makes sense but...I don't know if I have the power for this. Shouldn't I practice on something small first?"

"You'll have time to practice but first, get up." Placing a hand on her shoulder, Angelus steered her towards the kitchen. Spike was sitting guard over a crumpled figure on the floor, fragments of glass and broken crockery littering the surfaces and floor.

"Xander!" Willow moved forwards but Spike quickly took hold of her hand and pulled her back. "Why is he here? He can't be a...a...warlock?" She asked; would that be the correct term?

"No," Angelus scoffed. "No, lover boy really is just a pathetic mortal." Xander let out a groan and Spike tightened his grip on Willow's hand, sensing she would break free he reached up to grip her lower arms.

"Don't antagonise him," he muttered.

"She's not going to antagonise me." Angelus grasped Xander by the hair and pulled him to his feet before slamming his head down on a kitchen counter. Willow screamed, she couldn't help herself but the sound of Xander's skull crashing against the solid work surface was sickening. "She's agreed to do my spell."

"Will...don't…" Xander moaned and Angelus pushed his face harder into the broken shards.

"Leave him alone!" Willow cried trying to break free of Spike's grip, but he was far stronger than her. "I said I would do the spell, you don't need him!"

"Oh I think I do." Angelus's voice thickened as he transformed his face into that of a demon. "You see, Dru and I spoke before she died. I know the Watcher would have warned you all what I was capable of, and that Spike here has told you what I would normally have done with you by now. But you're valuable Willow, and like I said...quite a turn on." Willow felt tears prick her eyes as she realised what was about to happen. "Lover boy on the other hand...in life he's useless. In death though; invaluable. He's a warning to both you and the Slayer."

"No - I - I don't need to be warned, _please_." She begged, trying to ignore Xander's grunts of pain. "I promise -"

"You promise you'll do the spell? But what of when I ask for another spell? Or something else?" Angelus lifted his eyebrows suggestively and Willow felt herself retch. "I told you, you've lived a sheltered life. You need to realise your refusal has consequences." Angelus reached towards a knife block and pulled out several blades, studying each one with great intensity. Finally he selected the longest and sharpest. The light bounced off the blade, momentarily blinding Willow.

"Please…"

"Keep begging, it just turns me on." Angelus taunted. "This isn't just a warning for you, if it brings you any comfort. I want the Slayer to know you're safe for now, but she needs to realise this isn't a game." Xander grunted something from the counter and Angelus lifted his head up, the blade balancing dangerously close to his throat. "What?"

"Drusilla, she's alive." Xander choked. "If you kill me…"

"I still have someone else to bargain with." Angelus taunted and smiled towards Willow who was still fighting against Spike's grip. "Besides, why should I believe you?" Xander looked towards Willow, his mouth opened but whatever he'd wanted to say would never be heard.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Blood still stained the countertops and floor. Whether to torment her or just from sheer laziness, neither Spike or Angelus had tried to clean the surfaces. It wasn't completely fair to Spike. He had stayed with Willow, never leaving her side, he was even now sleeping in his chair beside her bed. Of course Willow couldn't sleep, despite it being the second night in a row. How could she after witnessing…

Rummaging through the cupboards she eventually found cleaning materials. Who had thought to stock the place with human items? She knew vampires favoured dark places; crypts and sewers. So why have cleaning products? The questions were senseless, but oddly comforting. Running the hot water into a basin, Willow began emptying bleach and floor cleaner. She wore no gloves but she didn't care, she didn't even care about the fumes from the bleach.

"Pet, what are you doing?" Spike pulled the bloody sponge from Willow's hand and tossed it into the basin. She felt herself turned around, but her eyes refused to focus. "Come sit down, you need something to eat."

"He didn't even drink from him," Willow's voice was distant and hollow as she spoke. She pulled her hands away from Spike and looked at him, seeing him for the first time since the previous night. "He…just…" The knife lay on the counter, and Willow threw up at the sight of it. The bile was sour and stung her throat, but she felt as if she couldn't stop. Spike stepped back to avoid getting splashed but stayed behind her, rubbing her shoulders and holding her steady. Pain racked her body; fire spreading from her ribs and now her throat. She set her hand on the counter, crying out when it landed in the caked blood.

"Please, shut her up." Angelus's voice was heavy with sleep as he traipsed into the kitchen in a pair of trousers. From his shirtless attire it was clear he'd only just woken up, and wasn't happy about the fact. "You're walking."

Willow felt her knees buckling and she lent against Spike as he lowered her to the floor.

"I've been feeding from her." Spike shrugged, "I could feel the strength returning so decided to try and get up." Angelus glared suspiciously and moved closer, Willow flinched as he tilted her head from side to side checking her neck, but she put up no other resistance.

"These bites are old."

"That's not where I bit her." Spike's voice was taunting. Stricken by grief, Willow had no strength to argue. Besides what did it matter if Angelus thought Spike had been feeding from her?

"Clean her up and get her something to eat."

"I ain't your bloody servant," Spike protested. "You're the pillock who put her in this state. What were you thinking?" Willow's eyes blurred at the memory of the knife and the blood. Did she have that much blood? She'd read somewhere the average person had nine to twelve pints, it didn't sound like much. But seeing it…

"She'll be fine. She got over the teacher." At the mention of Ms. Calendar, Willow lent forwards and threw up once more. Angelus swore as he moved out of the way barely in time. "Clean her up and put her in her room. If you can walk you can help me tonight."

"Don't you think we should stay with her?"

"I don't want either of you near me," Willow finally found her voice. Clumsily she stood up and looked around dazed.

"For tonight, I'll respect your wishes. Can I trust you to be left on your own?" Willow nodded. "I need you to answer, Willow."

"Yes." She whispered.

"And my spell?" Willow closed her eyes but the tears still managed to leak free. She wanted to tell him to go to Hell, that she wouldn't do anything for him. But she didn't want to kill any more of her friends.

"I need time," she whispered instead.

"Good girl." Angelus wiped her mouth with a damp cloth and Willow winced away. "Go clean yourself up, we'll leave some food for you in the parlour. I want the tray empty before we retire for the day." She didn't argue as Spike helped her to the bathroom and turned the shower on. Was this what her life would be like now? Numbly obeying Angelus for fear he would decapitate more of her friends? She gripped the edge of the sink as she felt her legs buckling again.

"My offer stands," Spike murmured in her ear. "Let me sire you. You won't care what happens to your friends, it'll be over."

"How is that supposed to make me feel better?" Willow sobbed. "You're as twisted as _him_!"

"I know it sounds cruel, pet -"

"I don't care how a vampire feels or thinks! I don't care that none of you choose to become a vampire!" Willow shouted and picked up the soap dish, she turned to throw it at Spike but her aim was terrible and it collided with a mirrored cabinet. "Just get out and leave me alone!"

Spike retreated without a word, closing the door softly behind him. The room quickly filled with steam but Willow ignored it. Her whole body screamed in pain; emotional and physical. Now more than ever she longed to wake up from this nightmare. She wanted to run, but she knew the price would be too high regardless of whether she made it or not. Kneeling on the floor she began beating the tiles; it was all she could do to let out her anger. She wanted to rip the room apart, to smash the tiles as she'd smashed the mirror, but she was too weak to throw a bloody soap dish!

The parlour was the room Willow had first woken up in, she stared at the wall with the empty chains and slumped on a chair. Her ribs protested with every movement but she was beginning to learn to ignore them. True to his word Angelus had left some food for her; a bowl of soup which had grown cold, a sandwich and glass of water. Willow slowly began eating, she contemplated throwing the food out but Angelus's actions had done their job. She wouldn't risk crossing him. She was a coward.

 _He said Drusilla was alive...was he lying?_ Angelus had not even granted her the chance to speak to Xander. Had he brought him there solely to execute him in front of her? _Yes._ A blunt voice answered her. _He was brought here solely to die, a warning to me and Buffy._ The fact that Willow was too valuable to Angelus for him to kill her was of no comfort. In fact she wasn't sure who he was setting out to torture more; her or Buffy? She tried not to dwell on the thought that Angel had shown no interest in Willow other than acquaintanceship, yet when he reversed to his psychopathic killer nature...she shuddered.

Looking around the room, Willow spotted a drinks cabinet and walked towards it. There were several open bottles of whisky, a vodka and others she had no idea of. There were bottles of what she thought were red wine, but the thick crimson liquid made her stomach roll and she ignored them. She took out an unopened bottle of whisky and began slugging it back. The fire spread through her numb body, but it didn't make her feel better. Instead it dragged her down into a deeper pit of despair.

"Drinking won't solve your problems Willow." Angelus smirked as he watched her from the doorway.

"It might help me to forget," she snapped and took another deep drink. Already she could feel her limbs loosening and her head spinning. Spike was suddenly at her side, the bottle no longer in her hand.

"Not if you're too inebriated to do what I want." Angelus threatened and she flinched. "Smile." The familiar click sounded followed by its blinding flash. Angelus held out the photo and pen for her to sign. Willow looked at the photo, longing to throw it in the fire. Her rage against Buffy was fuelled by a combination of alcohol and raw grief. She snatched the pen and photo from Angelus so she could write her message.

_This is your fault!_

It was true, wasn't it? Buffy's sworn duty was to kill vampires, to protect the world from them. So where was she? Why was Willow still captive? Why was Xander…

She shook the remainder of that thought from her mind. She knew he was gone, but she couldn't bring herself to think or say the word. It would be permanent. Irreversible. It would mean she'd never wake up from this nightmare. She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of Angelus's laughter.

"You're cold when you're angry."

"Does she know?" Willow croaked staring between the two vampires.

"Not yet, we needed this first." Willow shuddered, where was he then? "I want to see him."

"No." Spike's voice was firm and he glared at Angelus. "Look at the state she's in."

"Relax Spike, last night was enough for her to see. Even I don't want another Drusilla." Drusilla. _"He will be your death and you will be his."_

"Is she alive?"

"We don't know...but I doubt it. He would have said anything to save his neck, literally." Angelus scoffed and Willow glared at him, fresh bile rising in her throat at the image of the previous night.

"Why didn't you just drain him?" Willow whispered, "or…"

"Break his neck like the techno-pagan?" Angelus offered. "Because I hated him. He was an irritant and he'd been begging for death since the day we met. Your teacher was convenient, I had nothing against her. Well not until I found she was planning on cursing me again."

"Curse?" Willow stared wide-eyed at Angelus. "Your soul? It could be done again."

"No." Angelus growled, "and if you think you can try then you can do the binding spell now."

"I couldn't…" Willow said and snapped herself from the thoughts. "Besides, what good would your soul do now? We know what you're capable of. The sooner Buffy stakes you the better." Angelus laughed and moved closer so he could pull Willow into a tight embrace.

"You're cute to think she could ever kill me. How many times has she tried, and failed, to kill Spike? I'm twice his age and much stronger."

"She killed the Master and he was...ancient…"

"She _died_." Angelus reminded her. "Now, may I suggest you get learning." Angelus gestured to the book which lay next to the empty tray of food and took a seat in an armchair, watching Willow expectantly.

"You're going to watch me read?" Willow asked, how was she meant to concentrate with him staring? How was she meant to concentrate when she'd drunk half a bottle of whisky?

"Of course not. I'm going to draw you while you read." Willow looked at him helplessly, "you won't even know I'm here." Sitting down Willow picked up the book, she opened it but the words were meaningless. "Willow, it's still early, make yourself comfortable." Angelus taunted.

" _He will be your death and you will be his."_

Willow prayed that when the time came she would have the strength to be Angelus's death. She tried not to think about the fate that awaited her if she failed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Only once had Willow managed to broach the subject of visiting Xander's grave, it annoyed her that both Angelus and Spike were in agreement with each other. Although for different reasons. Spike thought it would do her no good, she was hardly in disbelief over the death of her oldest and best friend; she'd witnessed it. Angelus was more concerned Buffy would be standing vigil over the grave, waiting for Willow to make an appearance.

"Once you've done my spell, maybe I'll consider it." Was the closest answer she had gotten to a yes.

There was no putting the spell off any longer. She had no excuse, the translation was clear as far as she could tell and Angelus was growing impatient. There had been no word of whether Drusilla was alive or not, Willow couldn't see Buffy keeping the vampire alive for an exchange. Surely even if she'd wanted too, Giles would have dissuaded her?

Slowly she dressed, her ribs felt as if they were slowly healing after a week. Both Angelus and Spike had tried to insist on her taking their blood, but she was firm in her refusal. Truthfully she was surprised Angelus didn't threaten her to get her to accept it. Opening the door to her room she jumped when she found Angelus blocking her path.

"I - I can do it tonight," she said nervously holding out the book. "If you can get these." She watched as Angelus's eyes scanned the list of supplies she would need and he nodded thoughtfully.

"I'll get them now. I've got to admit Willow, I didn't think you'd come around this quickly. Was hoping a little more bloodshed would be in order!" Willow closed her eyes to stop herself from crying, she could feel grief squeezing at her throat once more.

"Will you leave my friends alone now?"

"Well, you know there's still the issue of the Slayer." Angelus closed the book and turned to saunter off. "Oh, but Willow." He turned to look at her, his eyes glowing yellow as he tapped the book against his chin. "Don't think I don't know what you're planning. You're thinking if you bind yourself to me, you can kill yourself - taking me out with you. Am I right?"

"I…" Willow trailed off helplessly and forced herself to meet his gaze. "If that's what it takes."

"Well, you'd better be sure it works. Because if you fail…" Her throat was suddenly in his hand and he was squeezing tightly. "Xander's -"

" _Don't_ mention his name." Willow said, trying to breathe. She fell backwards as Angelus released her. "I'll do your spell, but I will destroy you. Somehow…" She wished she hadn't added the latter, she'd sounded much braver before.

Outside in the courtyard, Willow took a seat at a wrought-iron table and stared up at the sky. It was freezing and she loosely hugged herself to keep warm. It wasn't long before she was joined by Spike and for a while the two sat in silence.

"This could almost seem normal," Willow said, not taking her eyes off the stars. "Until I look behind us and see we're living in a dilapidated mansion...or move and feel my ribs protest…"

"You're a funny one, Red." Spike toasted her with a bottle of beer he was drinking from. "Have you eaten?"

"I'm not hungry," Willow said automatically. She ate so rarely now but she barely even noticed the pangs of hunger.

"You should still eat," Willow jumped at the sound of Angelus's voice behind her. "Smile." _click._ Blinking through the dots Willow glared at him, beside her Spike swore. "See, you're looking gaunt. You should put some meat on your bones, too stringy and you'll stick in my teeth." Willow felt herself pale and she moved to stand up.

"He's teasing," Spike placed his hand over hers, gesturing for her to stay seated.

"Are you still leaving her photos?" Willow asked.

"I could start leaving body parts if you'd prefer," Angelus shrugged and Spike's grip on her hand tightened. "Only little ones, you know you're too valuable."

"Why am I doing this spell if you're pushing her into killing you?" Spike's grip was oddly comforting, tethering her to the present and keeping her from spinning into darkness at Angelus's veiled threat.

"All will be revealed in good time, my little red-headed witch." With that he turned and disappeared into the shadows.

"You're doing the spell? Tonight?"

"I don't have much choice, why delay the inevitable?" Willow shrugged and lent forwards to rest her face in her hands. "Why aren't you like him? When I was first brought here you were…" She shuddered remembering how he had fed from her night after night.

"You were food," he shrugged and pulled a small box of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. "Truth be told now that I've gotten to know you, I quite like you - for a human." Despite the situation Willow gave a small smile. "We vampires like to act cool and above humans, but we need you to keep our numbers growing. Siring those you feel a connection with, it just makes the bond that bit stronger. Not all vampires care about that bond though…"

"Angelus?"

"Drusilla is the only vampire he's sired, and he did it from cruelty."

"Have you sired anyone?" It struck Willow this was a personal question but she didn't retract it. Spike nodded as he slowly took a deep drag on the cigarette.

"Once. I'd rather not talk about it." He said, abruptly ending the subject. "You should eat something. Starving yourself will do no good, especially if you're going to be playing spellcaster. I've seen witches at work, it's exhausting."

Willow said nothing in reply and listened as Spike's footsteps receded. He and Angelus had grown comfortable in leaving her alone, doors unlocked. It sickened her that she was too much of a coward to attempt an escape. She tried to tell herself it was because she was trying to protect her friends. But she was also protecting herself. She couldn't witness what happened to Xander happening to anyone else.

The thought of his name brought a fresh wave of grief and Willow let her sobs break free. She was alone, it was safe to cry now. She had not stepped into the kitchen since the night after what could only be called his execution. She knew Spike had cleaned the kitchen, that not a speck of blood was left. She knew, however, that all she would ever see again would be his death in that room. In hindsight she wished she had not given Angelus the book to take with him for instructions, why hadn't she asked him to write them down? She could be using the time to give the spell a final review, now she was left with only her thoughts.

Despite leaving separately, Angelus and Spike arrived back at the same time. At Angelus's gesture, Willow followed him into the cavernous front hall and eyed the lit candles wearily. The candles had been laid out in a spiral pattern and Spike was busy setting about lighting each of them. Several rose quartz were next to a piece of paper and Willow knelt to read it.

"T - This isn't the spell," she said looking at Angelus with uncertainty.

"It's the Latin version. The proprietor of the magic shop informed me this would work better."

"He's telling the truth," Spike was lighting yet another cigarette from one of the lit candles as he straightened up. Willow looked down at the unfamiliar words in terror. She shouldn't have given him the book to take.

"W - What if this goes wrong?" She asked. Suddenly reading Latin made her feel much less confident in her abilities. _Abilities?_ She scoffed inwardly, she had loosened screws. How did Angelus now expect her to bind their very _lives_ together?

"If at first you don't succeed, I'll kill someone you love and you can try again." Angelus's face was monstrous, but his lips were turned up into a grin as if he had told an extremely funny joke. _I can't do this,_ Willow thought looking back down at the piece of paper. It wasn't long, even in English it had just been a few lines. Willow tried to count the lines and remember how many had been in the book.

"Can I see the translation?" Angelus held out the book and knelt opposite her so that the spiral of candles lay between them. Willow read through it, trying to compare the length, but the person who had written the Latin version had obviously been scared.

"Give me your hand," Willow looked up. She was horrified to see Angelus holding out a small wooden bowl with blood, his left hand already healing. _Of course there's blood,_ she thought trying not to show how squeamish she felt. Tentatively she held out her left hand, crying out when she recognised the blade Angelus drew across her palm. "It's a good blade," Angelus shrugged oblivious to Willow's horror and disgust at being cut by the same blade which executed her friend. Keeping hold of her hand, Angelus held it over the bowl and applied pressure so more blood would flow. "Start." Taking a deep breath Willow focused on the paper before her, trying to ignore Angelus's cold hand gripping her own.

"A - Adiuro te mihi i - in sanguine tuo," she tried to force her voice to be steady but her strength only wavered further as she watched Angelus sip the blood from the bowl. "In sanguine tuo, si tibi obligo." She accepted the bowl and took a small sip, grimacing at the sour taste. Spike took the bowl as Angelus cut first his right palm and then hers, with both wounds oozing he pressed their palms together. Willow could feel waves of sickness washing over her, followed by a terrifying crushing sensation around her heart and lungs. She looked at Angelus to see if he was affected, but of course he wouldn't be. He didn't need to breathe, so the sense of suffocation would do him no harm. "M - M - Mors autem altera," She threw a handful of rose quartz into the bowl Spike held out, pink fumes rose from the shallow centre and Willow lent forwards to inhale the sweet floral scent. As the plume of faint smoke made its way through her nostril and mouth, down to her lungs, Willow let out a hacking cough and jumped up as she fought to breathe. "N - non offendas...un...um sine...vulnere." Spike was there to catch her as she stumbled.

"Has it worked?" She heard him ask.

"Something happened," Angelus replied indifferently. "I suppose we won't know until either one of us dies."

" _He can still be saved," Willow's footsteps clicked against the hard floor. The corridor was dark, there wasn't a single light to show where she was. All she had to guide her was a familiar voice._

" _Who?" She asked, moving in a circle and trying to locate the voice._

" _Angelus," it sounded as if the voice was all around her. It wasn't a person standing in one position, but a person filling the air. "The disk is the key."_

" _I - I don't understand."_

" _You will. In time."_

"I'm not taking no for an answer this time." Willow blinked several times trying to adjust to her bearings.

"What?" She asked, forcing herself to sit up, she was on a settee in one of the larger rooms. "Did it work?"

"Spike already asked that. We won't know until one of us dies," Angelus was sitting in a chair opposite, the blade in his hands bouncing off the firelight.

"You need to eat something, pet." Willow's attention turned to the food he held out. "I'm not leaving you alone until you eat."

"He's right. You need your strength. _The disc is the key._ Willow turned the words over in her mind; who had the voice belonged to? It had sounded a lot like Ms. Calendar, was it a prophetic dream or just exhaustion? And what disc? Her eyes searched the dimly lit room for something disc-shaped, but there was nothing which seemed to fit. " _Eat_." Angelus ordered and Willow accepted the food of a reheated burger and fries. The meat was tough but it was the first thing other than soup and a sandwich she'd eaten in God only knew how long. She hadn't realised how hungry she was until the second bite, and then she devoured the food within less than a minute. She opened her mouth to thank them but quickly closed it; she had nothing to thank them for. "If you behave tomorrow you can have something fresh."

"Tomorrow?" It took every ounce of her being not to lick the grease from the burger's wrapping.

"We're going to stop by your old school; I'm thinking of enrolling in night classes." Angelus laughed and Willow looked at him in disbelief.

"Buffy -"

"Will be there, or at least I'm hoping she will be."

"Can...can I please visit Xander, after?" She asked, trying to keep the pleading tone from her voice.

"You can't, pet." Spike squeezed her shoulder.

"Why? You must know by now I'm not going to run away, and if it's after -"

"There's no grave to visit." Angelus laughed. "They haven't found him yet...well...not all of him anyway."


	12. Chapter Twelve

Willow stood beside Spike’s rusting car and looked at it apprehensively. How on earth could he drive with the windows painted? How was he never pulled over? She tried to focus on these questions, rather than the ones she really wanted to ask. Where was Xander? She didn’t need to ask what Angelus meant by not having found all of him. She’d witnessed his death. She knew too well. But…

_No,_ she told herself. _Don’t think about it._

“In you get,” Angelus opened the boot and Willow stared at several bags, visibly recoiling as her thoughts turned back to the ones she was desperately trying to ignore.

“Please, can’t I just sit in the back?”

“And see where we are?” Angelus said, he bowed to her as a doorman would to a lady passing through. He clearly would not take no for an answer.

“Just blindfold her if you’re that bloody concerned,” Willow turned to look around her surroundings and bit back a small smile.

“I know where we are,” she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. She could have kicked herself for not realising sooner where they were, but this was the first time she was seeing the exterior of the mansion. How would she have known where she was from the interior of a building she’d never been inside before? “The Crawford -” Angelus clapped a hand to her mouth.

“How long have you known?”

“Just now,” she answered honestly. “I - I’ve only been by this place a few times...none of them would guess this is where you are. It’s open and exposed to the sun...well...it _was_.” She could see Angelus and Spike looking at her suspiciously. “I grew up in Sunnydale, Buffy only moved here last year - she probably doesn’t know this place exists. Same as Giles.” She couldn’t bring herself to point out that the only person who would most likely know of the mansion was Xander. _There’s Cordelia and Oz_ , but she would not utter their names. If she could keep them out of this...but they were part of the Scooby Gang. Were they already part of Angelus’s sinister plot?

“She can hardly jump out the back doors, Dru had the handles removed from the inside. Too many meals took the easy way out.” Spike shrugged and Willow’s eyes widened at the horrifying thought. She knew how fast he drove, but it probably was a quicker death than what Drusilla would have had planned. Spike opened the door and Willow quickly slipped in, her hands scrabbling for a seat belt which wasn’t there. She bit back a groan as Angelus slid in beside her. She looked at the rearview mirror and instantly regretted it. It was more than disconcerting to be in a moving car, but the reflection of the mirror showed only a single passenger in the back.

“Do I need to tell you to behave when we get there?” Angelus rested his hand on Willow’s leg, clearly taking advantage of their close proximity. Try as she might, there was only so far Willow could sink back into the seat.

“Of course not,” she said. Realistically she wanted no part in whatever Angelus was planning, but this would at least let her see Buffy one last time.

“You say nothing about Xander.” Angelus ordered and Willow felt her throat tighten.

“What if the Slayer asks about him? Her face will give his fate away.”

“I...how does she not _know_?” Willow couldn’t disguise her horror.

“Do we know about Drusilla? We have our suspicions, but for us there’s no body. She’ll get that. Eventually.”

“Think about it pet, the Slayer gets daily photos of you. Of course she hopes her other missing friend might be alive.” Spike squeezed her shoulder in what Willow assumed was an attempt at comfort. She stood aside as Angelus opened a classroom door and peered in. Grabbing Willow’s wrist he pulled her into the room and she looked around, startled to find herself in Ms. Calendar’s computer lab. Her eyes landed on the computer and her fingers began to itch.

“If I smell you on any of these computers -”

“I went to school here,” Willow hissed and took a seat behind the teacher’s desk. Angelus glared at her knowing that she had him there, of course he’d smell her on a computer. “Just put me in a cupboard.” The sound of voices made the three freeze and Angelus closed the door, waiting for the footsteps to pass.

“We don’t have time for this,” Spike said. “Red, do you want more friends to die?”

“ _No_!” Willow cried and instantly bit down on her tongue. “I won’t use a computer, I promise.” She folded her hands in her lap as if to prove her point. She waited several minutes after Angelus and Spike had moved. There was a notepad on top of the desk, she wouldn’t risk using a computer but she had to do _something_. She hunted around the desk for a pen, opening and closing drawers as quietly as she could. She finally found one under a stack of papers and in her haste knocked them onto the floor. Uttering words she’d not even aware she knew she crouched on the floor and began gathering them up. She slipped her hand between a gap in the desk to make sure no loose sheaths of paper had fallen and her fingers scraped against something hard. She pulled free a floppy disk and slipped it into a drawer, she was too paranoid that Angelus would spot it and realise she had indeed been up to something. Quickly she scrawled on a piece of paper two words; _Crawford Street_.

She folded the paper and placed it in an envelope, scribbling _Rupert Giles_ on the front. All she could do was hope that someone found it and gave it to Giles, thinking that it was a note from Ms. Calendar. It had been common knowledge amongst the teachers and students that the librarian and computer science teacher had been dating. She felt guilty deceiving him, what if he did believe this was something from his deceased girlfriend? But it was the only thing Willow could think off.

Pulling open the top drawer of the desk she started to put the envelope away but stopped herself as she caught sight of the floppy disk she had just retrieved. _“The disk is the key.”_ Had it been Ms. Calendar’s voice she’d heard in her dream? Picking the disk up Willow turned it in her hand, she’d thought the dream had told her to look for a disc, but this felt too much like fate. She pocketed the item and closed the drawer with the note inside. She had no idea how she was going to read it, but she could deal with that another time. She instantly dismissed the thought of switching the computer on, she didn’t know how much more time she had left alone.

The door to the room opened and Willow froze, relaxing only marginally when Spike entered. His face was hidden by the shadows but Willow could tell he wasn’t himself.

“Drusilla?” She whispered.

“What do you bloody care?” Willow opened her mouth to reply but quickly closed it. He was right, she didn’t care - not about Drusilla. But she did find herself feeling a bit bad for Spike. He’d shown her some semblance of kindness these past few weeks, she wasn’t as frightened of him as she once had been. Spike stormed around the room as he checked each of the computers to make sure she’d not tampered with any. Several he tore from their desks and threw them across the room. WIllow screamed as he sent one crashing into the blackboard, less than a foot away from her. His hands rested on the monitor of the computer on the teacher’s desk and Willow jumped back. She watched the muscles in his hand bunch up, but at the last second they relaxed and he moved away from the computer, joining Willow behind the desk. He seemed to stare mesmerised at the desk, staring at the sheaths of paper she had dropped on the floor and the pen which she now noticed she’d neglected to put the lid on. “Red…”

“I haven’t done anything,” the tightening of her throat betrayed her. Spike pulled open the top drawer and pulled out the note. “Spike…”

“I thought you were sensible?” His face was vampiric and she took a nervous step back, almost stumbling back into the chair.

“What else can I do?” Willow asked.

“Come away with me. You must know by now your friends will die, the Slayer murdered my sire and Angelus’s childe. Do you really think any of you will come out of this alive?”

“ _Spike_!” Willow’s neck twisted to look at the classroom door and back at the note.

“Please,” she begged Spike. “I had to try something...it...please Spike.” Her fingers itched to reach out and take the envelope, to rip it up and swallow the pieces to rid herself of the evidence. When Spike set it back she felt her body sag in relief. “Thank you.”

“Get out, don’t give him a reason to come in here.” Spike pushed her towards the door. The disk in Willow’s pocket suddenly felt as if it was a brick rather than a thin piece of plastic. Angelus was striding up the corridor, his eyes gleaming yellow. “What’s taking so long?”

“I - I don’t want to see them,” Willow stammered as Spike joined her. “Spike he - he said Drusilla really is dead and - and...please, can we just go back to the - can we leave?”

“I was trying to calm her down,” Spike shrugged, “but then I got carried away thinking about ripping out her pretty little throat and…” Willow cried out as Spike’s hand gripped her throat. Angelus pushed past them into the computer lab and began sniffing. Spike gave his head the tiniest of shakes before pushing her into the room. What if he sniffed the plastic on her? Was their sense of smell that keen?

“I found her where we left her.” Spike pulled his cigarettes from his coat pocket and lit one, offering the box to Angelus.

“C’mon, they’re waiting for you.” Angelus’s voice was rock hard, there was no trace of sarcasm. Just hatred. Blood would be spilled tonight, she didn’t need the keen sense of a vampire’s smell to be able to tell this. Suddenly the note seemed even more foolish; blood would be spilled and it would be her fault.

“Please - I don’t want to see them.” Willow begged realising it was true.

“Tough.” Angelus gripped her arm and pulled her towards the library where he shoved her unceremoniously through the door.

“Willow!” The breath was knocked from her as a strong pair of arms pulled her into a crushing hug. Willow’s ribs protested at the movement and she let out a sharp cry. She could understand Buffy’s relief at seeing her, but could she not take a moment to think about what her friend had been put through? She’d not exactly been on holiday, and Buffy knew this. She knew what Angelus was capable of, how many hours had they spent crawling through countless Watchers Diaries and other resources compiling Angelus’s infamous cruelty?

“You might want to be a bit gentle with her.” Spike drawled, Buffy glared at him in response but mercifully did take a small step back. Willow scanned the library, it was just Buffy and Giles. Despite the situation, the danger, she felt her heart twist. Where was Oz? She had wanted to see him, just once more.

“Will…” _I can’t look at her_ , Willow thought horrified and kept her eyes focused on a spot just above Buffy’s shoulder. “It’s ok, you’re safe now -”

“How can you say that?” Willow cried, she didn’t need to look behind her to know Angelus and Spike were standing uncomfortably close. Tears of bitterness and anger welled up in Willow’s eyes and before she knew it she was sobbing. “Look behind me Buffy, do you think I’m going home tonight? How can I?”

“Where’s Xander?” Buffy tore her gaze away from Willow and looked behind the red-head. Willow could tell she was fighting to keep her voice steady. Bile rose in her throat but she fought to keep herself calm. “You said you have them both. _Where is he_?”

“In the car.” Willow almost fainted as she remembered the bags thrown in the boot. There had been so many. Too many for one body.

_“They haven’t found him yet...well...not all of him.”_

Willow almost retched but she fought the urge back, she would never know how she did it but she managed to keep her face impassive. The doors to the library swung in and the air grew thick as everyone turned to see who the lucky intruder was.

“Oz!” Willow breathed and threw herself into the werewolves’s arms. She didn’t cry out when he squeezed her tightly; she welcomed the pain. She was in his arms, she could almost fall herself that she was safe. Almost.

“You're alive,” he wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was crying.

“Careful,” Spike growled. “She’s hurt.”

“And no thanks to you, right?” Oz turned and squared his shoulders. Despite the height difference between him and the two vampires he didn’t look remotely scared.

“Oz, please.” Willow touched his arm. “Spike...he…” She found herself wanting to defend Spike, but how could she? He’d fed from her, he’d hit her…A hand touched her shoulder and Willow looked up at Giles.

“She’s obviously hurt, have you fools both forgotten she is human and needs medical attention?”

“Watch it, Watcher.” Angelus growled.

“You said Xander is in the car,” Giles said, ignoring the threat. “Why?” Willow squeezed Oz’s arm and buried her face into the back of his shirt.

“He didn’t want to get out.”

“Want or couldn’t?” Buffy spat. Angelus gestured to the door and Buffy looked back at Willow.

“She’ll be safe, I promise you that.” Buffy sought Willow’s eyes for reassurance, but still she couldn’t bring herself to look at the Slayer. She hadn’t realised how much she had longed for Buffy to save her, how she had _believed_ in her. Angelus walked towards the door and held it open with a sweeping bow.

“Willow, will you be alright here?” Giles asked, gently turning her around to face him. His eyes searched her face and she could see the guilt eating at him. “She hasn’t slept since you went missing…”

“Neither have I, Giles.” Willow felt her throat tighten, “but for different reasons. And what she’s done to Drusilla...I know she’s the Slayer and I’m glad Drusilla is dead, but it hasn’t made things easier.” Willow tilted her head to the door and closed her eyes. “You should go...it’s...she’ll need you.” Giles’s eyes hardened as he absorbed Willow’s unspoken words and quickly strode from the library.

“Can you give Willow and I some privacy?” Oz asked Spike, his tone was polite but hard. The jealousy in Spike’s blue eyes frightened Willow and she felt guilt begin to gnaw at her as she thought of the kiss. She panicked that Spike was about to taunt her, that he would cruelly rub the moment into Oz’’s face. Mercifully he left.

“Oz!” Willow buried her face into his shoulder. “He’s dead, there was nothing I could do…”

“Ssh,” Oz shushed her and gently stroked her back. “What have they done to you?” His voice was hoarse and Willow felt his body tense as he took in what she was saying. But he didn’t stop stroking her back and hair.

“Some cracked ribs...it’s been…” Willow shook her head. “Oz I did something terrible but I - I didn’t have a choice, please believe me.”

“What did you do?” She hadn’t realised how much she had missed his directness. His tone was reassuring, but he didn’t waste the words saying he was sure she hadn’t done something terrible.

“Angelus, he made me cast a spell that binds me to him. If he dies, then I die as well.”

“And Xander is dead?” Again, direct and to the point. Willow nodded. “And they brought you here tonight...and…”

“I didn’t know he was...they wouldn’t let me go to his grave. I didn’t know they’d hidden his murder -” she stopped abruptly when Oz sprinted from the library. Confused, Willow followed as quickly as she could, the sounds of a fight growing louder as she made her way towards the car park.

Spike was holding Giles, the Watcher’s shoulder dangling uselessly by his side and his glasses askew. Willow ran towards him to stop him from throwing another punch at Spike. In the middle of the car park she could hear Buffy’s shouts as she unleashed her grief and fury onto Angelus. Angelus however seemed to be enjoying himself, even letting the Slayer throw in several punches.

“You’re getting slack Buff,” he taunted her. “Maybe it’s time to call it quits and let a new Slayer take over?” He laughed as he knocked Buffy onto the floor. “Here. Let me make it easy for you. I won’t fight.” Spike quickly looked down at Willow to see how she would react as Angelus stood in the middle and stretched his arms out. An open target. Buffy picked her stake off the ground and adjusted her grip, she held her stance as if expecting Angelus to come rushing at her.

“What’s he doing?” Giles gasped and Willow caught him as he slumped, the pain of his arm sapping the strength.

“Spike -”

“I already offered to put it back,” he shrugged and gestured to the arm. “The pillocks too bloody proud.”

“C’mon Buff.” Angelus taunted. “One shot. You can end it tonight, or Willow comes home with me.” He shot a lusty smirk at Willow and she felt her cheeks heat up.

“He hasn’t touched her,” Spike growled. “Not that she can’t defend herself, quite talented your little witch.”

“Witch..” Oz whispered, snapping himself back to the present. He had been absorbed watching Buffy and Angelus. “Buffy _NO_!” He raised his voice as the woman launched herself towards Angelus. A normal human wouldn’t have been able to match the speed of a human, but Oz wasn’t a normal human. Lunging he knocked Buffy sideways, her stake grazing Angelus’s chest before clattering onto the floor.

“What are you doing?” Buffy screamed, “he killed Xander - _look_ -”

“You’ll kill Willow!” Oz cut her off. “He made her do a spell. If you kill him, she dies. You can’t kill him Buffy…not if it kills Willow too.”

Willow forced herself to meet Buffy’s eyes, but she quickly looked away when she saw the pain. The betrayal. She closed her eyes to everyone around her, wishing the ground would just swallow her whole.


	13. Chapter 13

Buffy lowered her stake and looked from Angelus, Spike and finally to Willow. Still Willow couldn’t bring herself to meet her friend’s eyes.

“Willow?” She forced herself to look at Giles. “Is it true?”

“She didn’t have much of a choice,” Spike spoke in her defence. “She’s had not much reason to hope for a rescue has she?” Willow opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it. He was right after all, she’d had no hope of a rescue. What else could she have done? She thought back to the early days of her captivity, chained to the wall while Angelus taunted her about her power.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked Giles, “you must have had a suspicion? You let me do the spell to rescind Angelus’s invitations...could I have done that if I wasn’t a witch?”

“Technically yes,” Giles sighed and grimaced as he moved his arm. “It was just an incantation. But...I did suspect there was some power. Everyone has the potential to harness the power of magic, but there’s something raw in you...a natural ability. I wanted to be sure before I spoke to you about it. Willow, please you must believe me - had I known the danger you would be placed in…”

“You should have told me.”

“And believe me, I will regret it with my dying breath.”

“Can it be undone?”

“I don’t know. I’ll look into it but…” he trailed off and Willow nodded. “If Angelus has made her do this spell, will he at least release her?”

“Now why would I do that?” Angelus pushed past Buffy with a gloat and threw his arms around Willow. “I’ve gotten used to having her around. It’s nice to have some female company, especially now we know Drusilla is gone…” His face transformed but willow didn’t flinch away, truthfully she had grown used to his demonic face. She almost preferred it, it reminded her of who he really was. “She’s here so you can see she’s really alive.”

“And she’ll stay that way…” Buffy said in a far-off voice as the realisation of what Willow’s spell meant. She seemed  _ relieved _ and Willow watched as the Slayer’s shoulders slumped as if freed from a great weight. “You can’t kill her.”

“Buffy, you can’t kill  _ him _ .” Willow pointed out. “This isn’t a good thing.” She could see that neither Buffy or Oz seemed to really agree with her. “ _ Giles _ .”

“I - It’s not of course,” he let out a yelp as Buffy seized his arm and put it back in its socket. “Thank you. No, Willow is quite right, it's not a good thing. But it does mean you are somewhat safe.” Willow closed her eyes, “somewhat” safe was hardly a comfort. Disentangling herself from Angelus, Willow stepped closer to Oz and clung to his jacket. She wanted to beg him not to let them take her back, but she kept hold of her tongue.

“You have three hours.” Spike said and she peered at him in confusion, Angelus looked furious. “We can give her that at least.” Spike shot at him, “she’s not stupid. She won’t say where we are. I think we can trust the Slayer won’t follow us - not when this is her last chance to see her friend. Three hours, and I’ll be back.” Willow nodded and felt a surge of gratitude rush through her. She felt Oz growl and realised that Spike was glaring at him and growling back.

“Oz,” she whispered. “Please, can we go inside?” Stiffly Oz nodded and led Willow back into the school. It was chilly, being late the heating had been shut off for hours, but the familiarity sent warmth flooding through Willow as she took a seat in the library. “In the computer lab there’s a note for Giles, don’t get it now. Get it tomorrow, when it’s safe.” She breathed looking away so her hair hid her face. She didn’t want either Buffy or Giles to overhear, Oz was good at playing it cool. She knew she could trust him not to say anything until she was gone.

Gratefully she accepted a mug of tea from Giles and almost drained it in one gulp, she hadn’t realised how thirsty she was. Or hungry. She’d not eaten since the previous night, and that had been her first meal in she couldn’t remember how many days. She couldn’t stomach it after Xander.

“Xander...he’d said Drusilla was alive, was she?”

“No...we killed her one night a few weeks ago. I had to Will, I have to kill them all…” Tears flooded Buffy’s eyes. “We’ll find a way to break the spell.”

“There might be another way, what if we could restore his soul?”

“Why?” Scorn filled Buffy’s voice. “I want him dead. I want him to suffer for everything he’s done to you and to…”

“Buffy,” Giles looked for a moment as if he was about to lecture her on her relationship with Angel but thought better. Now wasn’t the time. They were all guilty of trusting Angel, of forgetting that ultimately he was the enemy. “If we could restore his soul then he  _ would _ suffer, most likely a damn sight more than if you just killed him. We don’t know for certain if vampires go to Hell, or just cease to exist. This would be a punishment you know he’d suffer from.”

“But that spell was lost, how can we?” Buffy slammed her palms on the table and Willow winced.

“We don’t even know if there’s a spell to undo Willow’s. This is a concrete lead at least, and it gives us time to protect Willow. Restore Angel’s soul and we can find a way to break this spell,  _ then _ you can kill him for all I care.” Giles shrugged. “Now Willow…”

“Please don’t ask me how I am.” She begged and brushed her hair away from her neck so they could see the bite marks. “It’s not a holiday…” She wanted to fume at them, to throw things across the room and scream. How had they not rescued her yet? She looked at Oz and realised she was even furious with him. With his keen sense of smell, how had he not found her? Surely he could have tracked either Angelus or Drusilla? They’d had encounters with them, so what had they been doing? “I trusted you,” she whispered bitterly. “I trusted you all...and I hate myself. I hate that I’m a coward and bow down to them but my parents, and all of you. If I don’t...I refused to do the spell at first. I changed my mind and said I’d do it, before I even knew he’d captured Xander. But it was too late. He said I needed to know that my consequences had actions…” 

The tears she’d been trying to fight off slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them away hurriedly. The tension in the air was suffocating and Willow wasn’t sure if it was a combination of the air or her ribs but she suddenly felt as if she was hyperventilating.

“Are we the only ones in the school?”

“It’s past two-am,” Giles nodded towards the clock. “I expect even the janitor has gone home for the night.”

“I’m going to use the showers,” Willow stood up but Buffy moved with her. “Buffy...I love you but please. I need to be alone, without someone standing outside and listening. I’ll come straight back, but Spike said three hours and...I trust him.” She stopped herself from saying he’d been kind, she was sure that was something Buffy didn’t need to here.

“Let me walk with you?” Oz asked and Willow nodded, the disk in her pocket suddenly feeling as if it was burning a hole. “He’s in love with you,” Oz said bluntly. “Or whatever it is vampires feel.”

“Oz please...I can’t think about this.” Willow reached into her pocket and pulled the disk. “Give this to Giles, the note is where I am but please - don’t just come in guns blazing. I don’t want you, or my parents, dead.”

“What is this?”

“I don’t know. I had a dream and I’m sure it was Ms. Calendar, she kept saying ‘the disk is the key’.” She pressed the disk into his hands. “There’s no computer where we are, I thought I would have to convince Spike to get me a laptop or something. But this will be safer.” Oz stared down at the disk and Willow wondered if she was putting him in unnecessary danger, but what if there was nothing on there? Oz touched her cheek, for a brief second he leant in as he was about to kiss her but decided against it.

“I’m sorry Willow,” he said, his fingertips still brushing her cheek. “We should have done more.” Willow wanted to say something, to reassure him. But what could she say? She agreed with him. They should have done more. Grabbing a towel she found a fresh pair of gym clothes, still in the wrapper and mercifully in her size. 

The water felt blissfully hot against her chilled skin. She could bathe and shower at the abandoned mansion, somehow plumbing had been installed for which she was grateful, but there was no real privacy. She dreaded Angelus bursting in and leering at her. This was luxurious, she knew she was alone.  _ Three hours, _ she reminded herself so she didn’t dawdle. Washed and dressed in clean clothes she grabbed the bundle of clothes she had worn on the way. She was heading back to the library when she paused down a hallway of corridors. Barefeet padding against the floor she crept towards hers, she wasn’t sure why she was creeping. It was her locker, she wasn’t breaking any laws.

Dropping the clothes on the ground she entered her combination and pulled open the door. The smell of textbooks, herbs and pencils hit her. She brushed her fingers across the books, almost pristine, trying to draw comfort from them. The inside of her door was decorated with acid face smileys, a witch and even a cartoon werewolf. She tried to avoid the photos, but her eyes were drawn to them. There were several of her hugging Xander, a few new ones with Buffy and even one with Oz and her at the bronze. Gently she pulled the photos from the door and slid them into a notebook. It was pointless, but she pulled the assortment of notebooks and textbooks from the locker and found a discarded canvas bag shoved at the bottom. She dropped the books in there, not caring that the seams were dangerously stretched to breaking point.

It was clear she had been the topic of conversation as she walked back into the library. Abruptly conversation stopped and three pairs of eyes watched her uneasily.

“I’m fine,” she said in a more waspish tone than she had intended. “Where’s Cordelia?”

“Distancing herself,” Buffy shrugged. “She’s safer that way.”

“We should tell her...before news gets out.” Giles said quietly.

“Wait...they took him!” Buffy jumped to her feet.

“They could hardly leave him here,” Willow pointed out. “Spike...he’ll probably bring him back...or leave him somewhere. How would you explain a body in the middle of the school car park while we’re all here?” Sitting down next to Oz she leant her head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth from his body. For a while no one spoke and Willow kept glancing at the clock, conversation was stilted. What could they talk about in such a limited time? What was  _ worth _ talking about?

“When he got back the night you killed Drusilla...he was furious. I think you struck a nerve,” Willow said. Buffy smiled weakly and began picking at the stake she held. 

“Spike...he seems to be…”

“He’s not...he’s evil,” Willow sighed. “But he has been...nice, for a vampire. He feels sorry for me, he’s protected me from Angelus.” She blushed thinking back to the kiss but tried to push it from her mind. She could feel Oz stiffening beside her, this was not what he wanted to hear. “He keeps saying he can Sire me...that we could leave. Buffy please. Stop them, please don’t let them turn me. I don’t care if you kill Angelus and it kills me.” She half-wanted to try and convince them to kill her now, but she knew she couldn’t bring herself to do it so why should she inflict that on her friends?

All too soon Spike appeared in the doorway of the library, quickly hiding the fury of finding Willow curled in Oz’s arms.

“We need to leave, now.” He said abruptly. As Willow moved to stand up the other three rose with her, Oz embracing her tightly and kissing her fiercely. He held her close as they followed Spike to the car, Willow clutching the bag of books and clothes tightly. As Spike opened the door to the driver’s side he turned and looked at Buffy. “I’m sorry,” he said gruffly. “What Angelus did was unnecessary. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a bit of killing and blood sport. But she didn’t need to witness it.”

“You never said…” Buffy sounded sick.

“I didn’t want to talk about it.” Willow couldn’t meet her gaze once more. “Buffy if you have the chance you  _ have _ to kill him. I’d rather die then you let him get away.” Spike was suddenly beside her, his eyes on the bag she clutched.

“I left him in the woods, I’ve already phone an anonymous tip.” Buffy nodded curtly and pulled Willow into a tight hug. She was surprised when Giles embraced her tightly, making her ribs protest.

“You’ll find something,” she smiled weakly and tilted her head ever-so-slightly to Oz, hoping that Buffy hadn’t caught the gesture. Before she could start crying she slipped into the car, not looking at her friends. Spike maneuvered the car and drove away from the high school. Willow kept her eyes on her knees. All too soon the car drew to a stop and Spike turned to look at her.

“The photos.” He held out his hand and Willow looked at him in confusion. “I know you have things of...personal value. Pet, you know he’ll destroy them if he finds them. Give them to me, I’ll keep them safe for you. I promise.” His eyes pointed towards the bag cradled between her feet.

Slowly willow reached down and pulled out the algebra book with her photos stashed inside. She stared at the top one; it had been taken two years prior on Halloween. The irony of the black witches hat perched jauntily on her head, the fake blood smeared around Xander’s mouth and the plastic fangs. Her eyes were drawn lastly to Jesse; his arms stretched out rigidly, his mouth curled in a twisted smile as she tried to act like a serious zombie but failing as he gave into bursts of laughter. Handing them to Spike she was momentarily frightened he would rip them up, but he simply slipped them into an inside pocket of his long jacket.

***

Willow lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. Outside the rain hammered down, her mind was stuck on the woods. Had the police discovered Xander? Had his parents been told? Were her own parents fearing that she would be found next? She turned over onto her side and squeezed her eyes shut. She was through with crying, what did it achieve? The door to her room opened and she sat up as Spike entered.

“The suns up,” she said, looking towards the lightened window.

“The windows are blacked out, you should know by now I don’t have to sleep during the day - I just can’t go into direct sunlight.” Willow nodded, she did know that. What she had meant was he normally didn’t come into her room during the day. These were the precious few hours she had to herself, if she stayed in her room. If she ventured outside then she knew there was the risk of running into either him or Angelus. Spike sat beside her on the bed, brushing the hair from her face.

“Don’t,” Willow whispered as he moved his head closer.

“The wolf cares about you, but not enough. Don’t you think he should have saved you by now?” She swallowed her words. Asking Spike if he cared about her was on the tip of her tongue, but she knew it wasn’t something she was ready to ask. The answer scared her. “I know how to break the spell, Pet.”

“No.” She shook her head knowing what he was not-so-subtly hinting at. “I don’t want that. I’d rather die.” Spike wound her hair around his fist and gently pulled, exposing her throat. “Spike…” She whispered as he trailed a line of kisses from her jaw and down to her rapidly beating pulse. She felt as his face transformed, she felt his skin ripple beneath the skin of her jaw and neck as his features changed.

“Think about it; you would die. To become a vampire you have to die. Angelus would die. When you rise, we’d be free.”

“No,” Willow pleaded and squeezed her eyes shut. She was too frightened to move. “I’ll scream.” She said firmly. “I’ll scream and wake Angelus.”

“He’ll just think I’m feeding.” Mercifully Spike lifted his head, although he kept her head tilted and his fist wound in her hair. “I owe the Slayer, she killed my sire.” 

“Please Spike.” Willow begged, “I told them you’ve protected me.”  _ I also told them you’re evil, _ Willow added to herself. She found herself having to say this over and over in his head. He was a vampire, he was evil.

“I’m getting bored of Sunnydale. Drusilla and I were meant to spend eternity together, I don’t intend on spending it alone now.” His yellow eyes searched her face, drinking in her fear. “Your friends know where you are don’t they?” Seeing no point in lying, Willow nodded.

“The full moon was a week ago...they have until the next one. If they haven’t rescued you by then, then I will. Agreed?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.” Spike smiled as his face smoothed. 


	14. Chapter 14

Three nights passed and Spike had neither come into Willow’s room, day or night, or mentioned his “rescue” plan to Willow. She was still on guard around him, careful to leave space between them or better yet to not be alone with him. But not being alone meant Angelus was around. 

Spike’s proposal was never off her mind, but it wasn’t until the third night that a thought struck Willow. To sire her would mean she’d die; would this kill Angelus? And in turn would it mean she couldn’t be resurrected as a vampire? It was a brief flare of hope, but one she didn’t particularly care to dwell on. She wasn’t too keen to die, but if it meant Angelus was dead surely it would be worth it? Out of her pocket she pulled the disk she had retrieved from Ms. Calendar’s desk, if only she could find out what was on it. Turning the item over she lost herself in thought.

Whether through trust, a test or if he was just getting sloppy Angelus didn’t bother locking her in anymore. She could in theory come and go as she pleased; well she could go but she would hardly return. Unless…

Looking out of the window, Willow saw the sky faintly beginning to grow lighter. Could she do it?  _ What’s the worst that can happen? I should have done this long ago. _ Willow thought bitterly. Xander was dead and she had less than three weeks before she would be too. Crawling under the blanket Willow faced the window, watching as the sky gradually grew lighter. As soon as the sky turned pink she wanted to put her plan into action, but she forced herself to wait. The mansion had been modified; windows, doors and the smallest of cracks covered to keep out the sunlight. Spike and Angelus didn’t always sleep throughout the day, she just had to risk that today they would. 

She didn’t bother shoving pillows under the blanket to make it look like she was sleeping. Neither Angelus or Spike would retreat if they thought she was sleeping, the trickery would probably just make them angrier. Let them find the room empty, if she was back before they realised she had left then she might be able to lie. And if she was caught…

A quick check around the mansion showed the rooms empty. The only two she didn’t bother to check where the bedrooms the vampires occupied. She wouldn’t risk waking them. If they weren’t in them, then so be it. Creeping out the courtyard, Willow moved as fast as she dared. She realised she hadn’t stopped to put shoes on but she didn’t dare turn back. She was hardly a stranger to pain. 

The mansion was on the opposite side of town to Sunnydale High but Willow moved quickly, keeping to the woods and cemeteries as she cut across town. She had to be quick, but she also had to make sure she wasn’t spotted. The school was the trickiest part, it was early but students were already arriving. The temptation to run into the locker rooms; take a shower and grab fresh clothes, even gym clothes, was overwhelming. But she managed to force herself to stay on track.

Peering through the window of the library Willow couldn’t see anyone, but she used caution as she moved to a door which entered into the back of the stacks. It wasn’t until she heard the calming silence that came from a library that she dared to breathe a sigh of relief. The carpet on the top level felt course against her bare feet, but it was a welcome relief from the gravel and twigs from her journey across town. Peering around the bookcases Willow made sure the library was truly empty before half-walking and half-running to Giles’s office. She found him sitting at his desk; tapping the edge of his glasses against his chin as he stared thoughtfully into space. A cup of tea was untouched beside him. Unsure of the best course of action, Willow tentatively knocked on his door. 

“Willow!” He slipped his glasses on and stared at her in shock. Before she could greet him she found her face buried into the front of his tweed jacket, the smell of books and old spice flooded her eyes with tears. “How did you get away?” He gestured for her to sit down and quickly closed the door to his office.

“I walked out - Giles I’m not running away,” she said firmly. “I have to go go back before they notice I’m gone, I don’t want to give Angelus an excuse to go on a murder spree.”

“He doesn’t need an excuse,” Giles said bitterly. “Willow, don’t be foolish and think I am going to let you go back there.”

“Don’t be foolish and think you can stop me.” Willow shot back, “Giles please I didn’t come here to argue about my sanity - believe me I’m already questioning it. I need your help.” She pulled out the floppy disk from her pocket and gestured to his computer. “I found this in Ms. Calendar’s desk when we were here a few days ago. I need to know what’s on it, but there’s no computers where we are.”

“The Crawford Mansion, Oz told me.” Willow nodded and booted up his computer with his permission.

“Does Buffy know?”

“Not yet...we wanted to tell her but…” 

“Unless she’s prepared to kill him, don’t tell her.” Willow said firmly with her back to Giles so she could focus on the computer. She glanced at the time, unless Buffy was out sick she should have been in by now.

“She’s missing a lot of school,” Giles confirmed. “We tend to meet at my house now, it seems safer. And she can avoid Principal Snyder...I shouldn’t encourage her of course but...she’s hardly in the right frame of mind for school. Willow…”

“Don’t, please.” She begged, “I don’t want to talk about it - or him.” There was only one file saved on the disk and Willow tapped her fingers impatiently on the desk as she waited for it to load. When it opened she leant closer, her eyes widening as she realised what she was staring at. “Giles…” Gripping the back of her chair, Giles leant forwards and read the screen.

“My goodness…”

“She found a way?” Willow said feeling her fingertips go numb, “all this time...it was there...Xander…” tears stung her eyes but she blinked them away rapidly. “Will it work?” 

“I’m not sure,” Giles said still mesmerised by what he was reading. His eyes began to harden as he realised what this meant.

“She won’t kill him Giles - if we want to stop him this is the only way. Eternal suffering…”

“He adjusted to it before,” Giles said bitterly. “Who’s to say he won’t adjust to it this time around?”

“Would you rather that or Buffy living with guilt that she did kill him and me? Or that she couldn’t kill him? If she can’t...he will.” The sound of the library door swinging open alerted them both and Willow dove under his desk. When Giles returned she was determined at their course of action. “This is the only way,” she said. 

“I agree…” Giles’s lips were thin as he thought of the future; Angel restored. But he could not work with them anymore. “It will take time to prepare -”

“We don’t have time,” Willow cried feeling horror rise up in her throat. “Spike, he said if Buffy doesn’t save me then he will. He’s going to turn me Giles…” the excitement at finding the restoration spell was replaced by the fear of Spike’s promise. “The next full moon - is just under three weeks.” Giles sat at the computer, his eyes travelling over the screen.

“We have time,” he promised her.

“Buffy?” Giles looked thoughtful.

“Maybe it’s best not to say anything for now.”

“I should get back,” her throat tightened at the thought of willingly going back. “Giles...if Spike does sire me - it should kill Angelus shouldn’t it?”

“Yes, you would be dead after all.”

“Would it stop Spike being able to sire me?” Giles met her gaze and she could see he was trying to think of what to say.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I wished I could say. But I don’t want to lie to you.” Giles pulled her close and hugged her tightly. “You shouldn’t be going back.” Willow closed her eyes, when was the last time she had been hugged and felt safe? 

“It’ll be worse if I don’t. There’s a courtyard though...could you leave a message there for when you’re ready? I want to do this Giles - it has to be me.” 

“The spell is powerful -”

“Giles.” Willow cut him off. “Do I need to remind you what he made me do? Or...no. It has to be me. Please.” 

They agreed he would leave a piece of rose quartz in the courtyard, a signal that the spell would be ready to do the day after she found it. With the promise to check each day Willow fled back, leaving the disk in Giles’s possession. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

Miraculously, Willow had somehow managed to evade being caught. She slipped back into the mansion well before sunset and there was no sign of Angelus or Spike. To be extra careful she ran a bath to try and wash the scent of the school from her. The clothes she bundled up and shoved under the bed, covering them with other items in hopes it would mask the smell. When she emerged both Angelus and Spike were up. She ignored the leering gazes and strode past them towards the kitchen, her eyes drawn to the spot where she’d witnessed Xander’s execution.

“That was a foolish risk you took.” Spike’s lips brushed her ears, his hand hovering over hers as she reached to open the fridge. “I know you left today.”

“I -”

“Don’t lie to me, pet.” He didn’t sound angry, more amused. “Why did you come back?”

“Do you think I’m  _ that _ stupid?” She whispered, afraid Angelus would overhear. “How did you know?”

“I came to your room and followed your scent to the courtyard. Don’t worry, he didn’t stir all day.” She almost sagged in relief against Spike but caught herself at the last moment. She opened the fridge and looked at the contents half-heartedly.

“There’s no food.”

“Where did you go?” 

“I wasn’t running away.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Spike persisted trailing his fingers along her neck. “You know if you want a night away, you should just ask. I can arrange a nice hotel -”

“If anyone’s taking her away it's me. You don’t know how to treat a woman.”

“There’s no food.” Willow repeated slamming the fridge shut and moving out of Spike’s hold. It frightened her how she felt her body response to his touch. How she  _ wanted _ his touch.

“Nailing puppies to doors hardly screams romance.” Spike taunted.

“Stop it.” Willow pleaded hating the image in her head. “Please, there’s no food. You two might not need to eat…” She trailed off suddenly not wishing to discuss eating with two vampires. She noticed Angelus eyeing her neck up and she began rummaging through a cabinet. “Nevermind, there’s soup in here somewhere.” She let out a squeak as a pair of hands gripped her waist and picked her up. She found herself sat on a counter and staring into Angelus’s yellow eyes. 

“I’ve been thinking about that,” he said. “Doing the food run, it’s a tedious  _ human _ chore. And the smell lingers...maybe it’s time we fixed that.” His hands rested on Willow’s shoulders, his fingers teasing upwards until his thumbs rested in the hollow of her throat. Unlike Spike, Angelus’s touch didn’t excite her. She loathed him, and she hated to admit it but she was still frightened of him.

“Why should you get to sire her?” Spike growled.

“Because I want her, and I take what I want.” Willow screamed as his fangs tore into her throat. She tried to push him away but found herself wrestled down onto the counter. She scrabbled at his face but Angelus gripped her hands and pinned them down.

“You can’t,” she cried, feeling her strength ebbing. If she thought he was going to simply kill her, she would have stayed silent. But the thought of being sired, and by  _ him _ , was too much. “You’ll die.” 

“She’s right,” Spike was lounging against the counter watching the spectacle as if he enjoyed it greatly. “ _ Angelus _ .” Willow almost rolled off the counter as Angelus climbed off her, only Spike’s quick thinking kept her from crashing onto the hard-surfaced floor. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, Willow tried to nod but felt dizzy. She felt Spike’s fingers rest on her throat. “Your pulse is weak…”

“I’m fine,” she said. 

“Relax, it was barely two pints.” Willow heard the sound of a tap running and flinched as something cold touched where Angelus had bitten her. 

“Did you forget about the spell she performed for you, you pillock?” Spike taunted. Willow expected Angelus to look furious, she was surprised to see him instead looking sheepish. “If you sire her she dies, which means  _ you _ die.”

“There’s always a flaw,” Angelus sighed. “Perhaps I should pay our Watcher friend a visit.”

“No,” Willow protested weakly and forced herself to sit up by using Spike for support. “If you want to find a way to...end the spell...then bring books to me.  _ I’ll _ find a way.”

“Why would I want you to do that?”

“Who would know?” Willow pointed out. “Buffy would still think we’re bound, she wouldn’t kill you. And you’d be free to kill me.” She had no intention of breaking the spell, but she wanted to distract him from Giles. Spike passed her a glass of water and she drained it greedily, hoping that she wasn’t setting herself up for a fall.

***

“You’re avoiding us,” Spike said sitting on the edge of the fountain in the courtyard as he joined Willow outside.

“I’m not,” she shrugged, “but even if I was, could you blame me?” The full moon was just under a week away. Angelus had not mentioned his attack on her, but he had loaded her with spell books. Willow read them hungrily, trying to absorb as much as she could. Despite herself she found she was looking for a reversal spell. If she couldn’t restore Angelus’s soul then she had to make sure Buffy could kill him, and she knew her friend would not be willing to kill her in the process. 

“Willow…” She turned to look at Spike, he had never used her name before. “Where did you go that day?”

“To see Giles.” Angelus was out so it was safe to speak freely, she also found she didn’t want to lie to Spike. During the days after Spike Angelus’s attack, Spike had taken to looking after her. Several times she had woken up drenched in sweat, screaming for Xander. Each time Spike had rushed to her room, comforting her until she would finally fall into a light doze. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept properly. “The night we went to the high school, I found a disk in Ms. Calendar’s computer room. I took it to Giles to see what was on there…”

“And?” Spike prompted, reaching into his shirt pocket he pulled out a cigarette. 

“She’d found a way to translate the spell, the one to restore his soul.” 

“Please tell me you’re not going to attempt it?” Spike asked blowing smoke rings. Willow watched them as they dispersed lazily, her nose wrinkling at the smell of the burning tobacco. She wished he would quit, but then why would he? He was immune to the effects of them, and as far as he was concerned she would be soon too.

“Of course I am. Buffy won’t kill him, not while she thinks there’s a chance I’ll die. You won’t kill him for the same reason...besides, I know you hate him but I don’t think you’d want to kill him either.” Spike looked disgruntled but nodded.

“He’s my grandsire...he raised me. Before he became bloody Angel…”

“Vampires have families?” Spike waved his hand from side to side in a slightly dismissive gesture.

“Of sorts. You get some just intent on the kill; they tend to not last very long. The older ones teach those they sire. The Master - he had a following, but those closest to him were ones he’d sired. They were loyal to him. He nurtured them from the moment they crawled free from their graves.”

“Doesn’t it bother you that if you sire me, you’ll kill him?” Spike looked as if he had never really considered this before. 

“He’s becoming unhinged...perhaps it’s best this way.” 

“You could just not sire me,” Willow smiled weakly. “Spike...I want to try this spell. Giles is going to try and arrange everything, he’ll get word to me when he’s ready. I told him what you had planned, that there was a time limit but...would you consider  _ not _ siring me?”

“No,” he stubbed out the cigarette and flicked it into the fountain. “After the other week...he could have killed you. I know what his intentions were but…no. I want to take you away from all this, would you really just leave with me knowing your friends were in danger?”

“If they weren’t in danger, I would leave with you.” The words caught Willow by surprise but she found she did mean them. “If I restore his soul then my friends are no longer in danger. I - I can’t stay in Sunnydale,” she felt something wet on her cheeks and realised she was crying. “I love Buffy but too much has happened. I know this isn’t her fault, but I can’t help hating her.” She was shocked at the venom in her voice, she had never dared speak these words out loud. But oddly enough she found she could speak to Spike. 

“So you would leave with me? Your human -”

“Can you honestly say you won’t tire of me? What happens if you sire me and realise I’m just some kind of vampire rebound?” Spike laughed at her choice of words.

“I can assure you pet, you’re not a rebound.” Standing up he stood beside her, his fingers trailing through her hair. “Let’s see where we are on the full-moon.” Willow nodded; he could have laughed in her face and reminded her she had no choice. But he hadn’t. As Spike wandered back inside the mansion Willow opened her hand, in her palm rested a small rose quartz. It was the size of her thumbnail, she had found it earlier that day. In the days after Angelus’s attack she had been too weak to search the courtyard. When she had regained her strength she had been relieved to find nothing; what would happen if she had found it too late?

_ Tomorrow, _ she thought rising to her feet. She had no idea what the day would bring. What would happen if the spell failed? Would Angelus know what she had attempted? Pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind she went inside. It was still early, not even midnight yet, but she wanted to rest while she could. She had not forgotten the exhaustion from when she had performed the binding spell for Angelus. 

She fell asleep with the rose quartz clasped loosely in her hand. She didn’t stir as Spike crept into her room, nor when he took the piece of quartz from her hand and studied it curiously. Tucking the blanket around her, Spike gathered Willow into his arms and stared at the pale pink stone.


	16. Chapter 16

Willow was only half-startled to find she was entwined with Spike. The rose quartz had somehow ended up clasped loosely in his hand, the early dawn light making the wall opposite it sparkle with a pink glimmer. Slowly, Willow began to disentangle her limbs so she could get up, she froze when she saw Angelus standing in the doorway with a thunderous look on his face.

“It’s sickening,” he growled.

“You didn’t find it sickening that he loved Drusilla,” Willow pointed out.

“She was his  _ sire _ .”

“And Buffy?” The breathe was knocked from her as Angelus struck her. 

“Angel was weak. I’m not Angel.”  _ No, you’re not. _ Willow agreed silently but she held her tongue and just glared at him. “I acted rashly when you did that spell...binding my life with a  _ human _ . You’re fragile,  _ mortal _ .” He sneered. “We’ll find a way to re-do it, once you’ve broken the spell you can recast it once I’ve sired you.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You’ll be a vampire,  _ mine _ . You won’t care about the Slayer or your friends anymore. Your only desire will be to please your master.” Angelus leered at her, a lusty look in his eyes and Willow glared back at him. “I know you think Spike will be your saviour - but just remember, Red, he’s like me. He’s soft, poets.” He scoffed. “You’d be a fool to believe he’s going to rescue you. He’d sire you in a heartbeat, I’m not sure why he hasn’t already.”

Shutting the door in Angelus’s face, Willow held her breath and listened to the sound of his footsteps retreating. When she turned to look back at Spike she saw he was watching her, an impassive look on his face.

“I assume you heard everything.” 

“I was already awake when you woke up.” He shrugged, “the benefit of being a vampire - sleep is easy to feign.”  _ I suppose it does help not having to breathe, _ Willow thought wryly. “What does this mean?” He held up the rose quartz, Willow tilted her head to the door as Spike sat up. “He’s gone, don’t worry.” 

“Giles said he would leave that in the courtyard, the spell is ready; today.” Spike looked down at the small stone in his hand. “He and Oz will meet me in the courtyard - in daylight. I - I don’t know if we’re doing the spell here…”

“If you do it outside you’ll be safer, he won’t be able to stop you.”

“Will he know what’s happening?” Spike looked thoughtful but eventually could only shrug.

“I don’t know, Pet. When he was cursed before he just ran off...I suppose he sensed a power. He was confused when we found him, Christ...the self-loathing.” Spike shuddered, “do you really have to do this? I can’t be around him when he’s like that.” Willow smiled.

“You won’t be, remember?”

Spike stood up and pulled her close, for a fleeting moment Willow thought he was about to kiss her. His eyes seemed to drink her in, moving from side to side as he seemed to memorise ever detail of her face.

“You were serious last night?”

“I can’t stay here. What would I do? Go back to my parents and resume a normal life? Go back to school, rejoin the Scooby G -” she choked on the words. There was no Scooby Gang. Xander was dead, Cordelia had distanced herself, and Oz? Even if Willow did go back to school, how could she sit in the library researching with Giles while Buffy slayed evil? What if Buffy forgave Angel? Was such a thing even possible? All she knew was she didn’t care to find out. 

“Wouldn’t you want your parents to know you’re safe?”

“Of course! And I’ll think of something to let them know I am but...I’ll see Xander everywhere. And Angel…”

“You’ll need to rest after the spell. I assume you’re going to be the one foolish enough to attempt it,” Willow smiled wryly and Spike shook his head with a sigh. “I won’t try to talk you out of it. Maybe the Watcher will have better luck.”

“He won’t,” Willow smiled. “Will you be ok?”

“As long as it’s not my soul you’re planning on restoring…” Willow could tell he was only half-joking. 

“Angel adjusted…” Willow said, “and at least that way I’d know you wouldn’t sire me.”

“Willow,” Spike said seriously. “How about a deal? You don’t restore my soul and I won’t sire you, for at least a year.”

“Make it five,” she joked but quickly turned serious. “What if the spell goes wrong? What if I restore yours by mistake?”

“Then you do it again and get the right vampire. Then you help me lose mine; from how Angelus lost his again it doesn’t sound too arduous a task.” He winked, “hardly a curse to be honest. You think they’d find a better way to ensure he didn’t lose it; one true moment of happiness…”

“Very funny.” The sun was almost up and Spike stroked her cheek as they turned to look at the window.

“You’ll need to rest after the spell is done, go with them. I’ll be able to find you easily enough.” As if to prove his point, Spike pulled her close and buried his face into her hair; taking in her scent. “Go on, you should be safe outside now.”

“I need to get changed,” Willow pointed out.

“I ain’t stopping you, far from it.” Spike grinned but made a show of turning his back so Willow could change. Once dressed she hurried outside, her nerves on edge that Angelus would emerge any moment. She wasn’t waiting long in the courtyard, within minutes Giles and Oz crept down the stone staircase, keeping in the sunlight as much as possible. Willow hugged them both tightly.

“It’s really ready?” She asked taking Giles’s bag, “where do we do it? Here?”

“Is that safe?” Oz asked putting a protective hand on Willow’s lower back and kissing her cheek. His eyes searched over her looking for fresh bruises and bite marks. 

“I’m fine,” she said, “really.”

“I suppose here is as safe as anywhere, we can hardly do it in the library - some poor student will walk in.” Giles pulled his glasses off and began cleaning the lenses. WIllow smiled fondly at the familiar habit.

“Into the library?” Oz asked in a weak attempt at humour.

“Quite,” Giles nodded absently. “Willow erm, do you think we would be...erm…”

“Angelus is asleep, Spike thinks as long as we stay in the sunlight we should be fine. Even if he wakes up he wouldn’t be able to stop us...we could go into the woods though? This place is pretty much forgotten about or the developers would have had it by now - I don’t think people come to this side of the woods much.”

“Spike?” Oz’s face darkened but Willow ignored him. How was she going to tell him she was leaving?  _ Am I really leaving Oz for Spike? _ She had never considered the thought until now. She pushed the thought to the back of her head. She didn’t know what she was doing with Spike. All she knew was she couldn’t go back to a ‘normal’ life. “I don’t smell people,” he said, sniffing the air.

“Perhaps the woods would be safer. Presumably when Angelus was first cursed he was not in close proximity.”

“How will we know if it’s worked?”

“I erm...I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” Giles admitted. “Regardless, Willow we’re all in agreement - you are not going back there.”

“But if it doesn’t work Angelus will kill you all -”

“We managed to convince your parents to leave town for a while. They were our main concern; Oz I have tried to talk out of. Buffy is the Slayer and knows the risks...she’s currently trying to convince Joyce to return to LA. She went so far as to threaten revealing her secret.” Willow felt her hands clench at her sides. Why couldn’t they have convinced her parents to leave earlier? Deciding not to pass comment, Willow followed them up the steps and out onto the road. The sun was bright and she realised spring was in the air; how long had she been held captive?

With Giles’s direction the trio set the spell up, Willow stared at the orb of Thesulah curiously. This was what they needed to restore Angelus’s soul? At a gesture from Giles she sat down cross legged and placed the orb in its cradle.

“Are you quite sure you’re up to this?” Giles asked, resting a hand on Willow’s shoulder. Willow nodded, she wasn’t about to justify herself. What had they done to help her? The disk had been under their noses all along. True she had found it by accident, but shouldn’t they have searched everywhere for something?  _ Be realistic - why would they search between a desk and cupboard? _ She knew she was being unfair, it was just hard to care. She was close to freedom, sort of...would she be free if she left with Spike? She took a piece of paper from Oz and scanned it a few times, taking a deep breath she nodded to signal she was ready.

“Not dead, nor not of the living spirits of the interregnum, I call.” The air had been still but a breeze was beginning to pick up, flapping the paper in her hands. Willow adjusted her grip but forced herself to concentrate. She could not get this wrong. She would not get it wrong. “Gods bind him,” her chest began to grow tight and her throat closed as she tried to form the words. The wind around them changed from a strong breeze to what Willow could only compare to a tornado. All around her twigs and stones hit her and she closed her eyes. “Cast his heart from the evil realm!” She cried over the wind.

What happened next Willow would never be able to describe, but it would stay with her forever. A power ripped through her, surging through her veins. She felt as her mind was pushed to the back as the unknown force took over her. She could feel her mouth moving, hear her voice; but the words she spoke she had no idea of. She could do nothing to fight the power even if she had wanted to, but something told her to let the force do it’s work. It was aiding her. Her veins grew hot and she wanted to scream, but still the force kept her in its grip. She was no longer aware of the beating of the sticks, the roaring wind but only the fire in her veins. 

The powerful force was gone almost as soon as it had taken over. Gasping Willow slumped forwards, her blood roaring in her ears.

“Willow!” She felt hands pulling at her but she let herself fall into welcoming darkness.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with where this has gone it's feeling clunky at the moment. I'm going to finish this one, in the meantime I'm working on a new Willow/Spike fanfic which will hopefully be less clunky!  
> Thank you so much for reading :)

“Willow, please wake up.” Soft hands clasped Willow’s own squeezing them every few minutes. “Please...please…” Willow tried to open her eyes but the slightest movement caused waves of nausea to wash through her. She let out a groan but could do no more. “Willow?”

***

“I should drive a stake through your heart - you dare show your face here.”

“We’ve told you before, you’re not welcome here. I am hardly going to invite you in after all you’ve done.” The voices were hushed but still Willow heard them. Groggily she opened her eyes and tried to sit up.

“You can’t keep her in here forever, all I want to know is that she’s ok. Please?” There was genuine concern in Spike’s voice and Willow felt a small smile tug at her lips. “Why didn’t you take her to a hospital? You must have an idea of what she’s been through -”

“No thanks to  _ you _ ,” Buffy spat.

“I did my best to protect her!” Spike protested, “once I got to know her anyway.”

Looking around, Willow tried to get a bearing on where she was. She was lying on a bed in a simply furnished room. A desk, chair, wardrobe and bedside cabinet were the only other pieces of furniture. The curtains were pulled close but the door was wide open. Liht from the hallway lit the room up with a soft glow. 

“Spike?” Willow called out but her throat was roaring and she barely made a sound. Sighing she could see her only option was to get up. Weakly she climbed to her feet, noticing that someone had dressed her in the maroon sweatpants and a yellow t-shirt of the Sunnydale High gym class.  _ Please let it have been Buffy, _ she silently prayed. Using the wall for support, Willow moved out into the hallway and found herself standing at the top of a familiar staircase. Giles’s house.

“She should be in a hospital.” Spike insisted.

“And how would you explain her disappearance?” Buffy hissed.

“Buffy,” Willow called out and plopped down onto the top step. She was too exhausted to even attempt walking down them. There was the sound of the front door slamming shut, followed by an indignant cry from Spike on the outside. “Buffy please -”

“ _ Willow _ !” Buffy flew up the stairs and embraced her red-headed friend. “Giles! Oz! She’s awake!”

“Buffy, please.” Willow begged, “not too hard.” Her words fell on deaf ears as Oz and Giles bounded up the stairs to embrace her tightly. “Guys, please. Why is Spike outside?”

“He should be dust in the wind.” Buffy spat.

“Then why isn’t he? That is your job.” Willow spat back and the vehemence caught them all by surprise. She opened her mouth to apologise but quickly stopped herself. She was right; Buffy was the Vampire Slayer, Spike a vampire. She was glad Buffy hadn’t killed him, but maybe if she hadn’t grown close to Angel in the first place…

_ That’s not fair, we all trusted Angel _ .

“The spell,” she asked, changing the subject. “Did it work?” Buffy nodded, and Willow turned to Giles for confirmation.

“Yes we’ve ah...we’ve seen Angel.” Giles helped Willow to her feet, “You shouldn’t be out of bed. How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” Willow said, letting the three help her back into bed. “Can I see Spike?” She ignored the look of hurt on Buffy’s face. She didn’t ask anymore about Angel, for now all she cared about was the spell had worked. She was safe at least. “Please Giles, I know this is your home and I have no right to ask but Spike...I can’t explain it. You have the spell to rescind his invitation, please?” 

“No,” Buffy said firmly.

“Buffy -”

“I don’t want him anywhere near her. Will, he  _ fed _ from you. I saw the bruises…”

“Who do you really think did those? And there was more than just bruises.” Willow said scathingly. 

“Will…”

“Please. You don’t understand, he’s not...I know he’s a vampire, I know he’s evil. Believe me. He bit me, but the longer I was there…”

“Willow, need I remind you he was going to sire you?”

“ _ What _ ?” Buffy jumped up but Giles blocked her path. 

“He was going to sire me to save me - and honestly, did any of you have a better idea? Of course I didn’t want that - I told him that. But how long had I been there? How long had you searched for me? I didn’t want to end up like Xander.” His lack of presence was painfully obvious in the room, more than ever Willow missed him. “He knew I was doing the spell to restore Angel’s soul, he didn’t try to stop me - he didn’t tell Angel.”

“I don’t want you seeing him Will.” Buffy said, her tone was pleading but Willow glared at her. What did it matter what Buffy wanted?

“Buffy, perhaps you and Oz should go for the night. I’ll watch over Willow, I’m loath to say it - but I think Spike is genuinely concerned for her.” Oz kissed Willow’s cheek, his eyes searching for what she wanted.

“I’ll be fine,” she said trying to smile. She hadn’t told Oz she planned on leaving, she’d not mentioned it to anyone. She listened as Buffy and Oz left, exchanging harsh worse with Spike. When Giles returned he looked less than pleased. “I can sit outside,” Willow said. “You don’t have to invite him in.”

“You are not in a fit state to be out of bed Willow, you barely made it to the top of the stairs.” She had no reply to this, it was true. Spike strode into the room; there was none of his usual swagger. Instead he walked straight to Willow and pulled her close, ignoring Giles’s hiss of disapproval.

“ _ I _ protected her,” Spike warned. “You at least bloody owe me the courtesy to make sure she’s ok.”

“Please, don’t fight.”

“If you harm her -”

“Bit late for that,” Spike growled but he didn’t move away from Willow. “Where was your bloody slayer when she was being tortured? Has she told you what’s happened to her? Being chained to a wall and forced to learn her power through sheer will?”

“N - no…” Giles’s voice trailed off as he stared at Willow, mortified. She couldn’t meet his gaze and instead looked down at her hand in Spike’s. She concentrated on his chipped nail varnish, looking up only when she heard Giles leave.

“It worked, not that i doubted you - but I can’t believe you did it.” 

“Where is he?” 

“The mansion. He must have known something was happening, he started screaming and almost ran outside. He was confused at first but after a few minutes...it was pathetic.” Spike scoffed. “He didn’t even mourn Drusilla - he tried to kill me but I pointed out...well…” A savoury aroma filled the room and Willow sniffed the air appreciatively. “I suppose we’ll have to arrange some kind of living arrangement. I don’t suppose you want to be eating out of hotels for the next year.”

“You’re not siring me.” Willow said firmly.

“No pet...not yet. We’ll see how things go, bloody hell you’ve made me soft.” Spike scowled. “When do you want to go?” Willow settled back on the pillows suddenly feeling as if she might fall asleep at any moment. She wanted to leave now. She wanted to go home, see her parents and just leave. But her parents weren’t home, they still believed she was missing and Willow realised they would never know she was ok. Was it selfish for her to just leave?

“Soon, tomorrow?”

“No. Pet do you not realise what you’ve accomplished? That was strong magic,  _ ancient _ magic. You need to rest.” Tenderly Spike tilted her head up and kissed her gently; a lingering and slow kiss on the lips. “I didn’t want to tell you, but you have the right to decide. Angel wants to see you.”

“No.” Willow said firmly, not even pausing to think on the request. “I can’t see him - not after everything.” Spike squeezed her hand.

“Tomorrow, I’ll come visit before dawn.” Willow was barely alone for a second when Giles emerged, holding a tray with two cups and bread. Setting the tray on her lap, he pulled a chair to the bedside rather than perch on it. His face was a mask and Willow realised he had heard their conversation.

“Were you planning on telling us?”

“I just woke up,” Willow pointed out and blew on the cup Giles handed her. She looked in before sipping it, surprised to see it was soup and not tea. She smiled wryly having assumed Giles would only ever put tea in a cup. “Giles, do you really think I could bear to stay here? Both Xander and Jesse are dead, my two oldest friends - both because of vampires. I watched Angelus murder Xander...I’ve seen death before, too much since I met Buffy. But this...cruel, brutal...there’s no words to describe what Angelus did. And he made me  _ watch _ . Every cut, slice and blow…”

Forgetting himself, Giles sat on the bed and pulled Willow close as she began to cry. She tried so hard to forget Xander’s screams; he had tried to keep silent at first. Tried not to cry out in front of Angelus. But no one could have suffered through that in silence.

“I don’t want to see Angel again; can you honestly say Buffy feels the same? I know she loved Xander, but what she and Angel had was a different love. It’s no good saying this wasn’t Angel, believed me I  _ know _ this wasn’t Angel. But Angel will share the same shell as Angelus; he’s in there. He’s bound by the soul; but he’s there. Plotting revenge for if he ever gets free again. Buffy won’t understand that.”

“And you think leaving with Spike is the answer?”

“Answer me honestly - how long have I been captive?”

“Three months, roughly.” Giles conceded and Willow felt the soup she had only just swallowed rise up again. She’d had no idea it had been that long. How could it have been so long? She had been right under their noses the whole time.

“So out of all of us; who do you think knows Spike the best right now?” Willow said in a strong voice, determined that she would not be deterred. “I know he’s evil. He fed from me every day for the first few days. He said my blood healed him; he took part in the tormenting. But as time wore on...he brought me food, he…” She could see how helpless a situation it was trying to explain what Spike had done. He’d kept her sane. He hadn’t helped her escape; he’d told her time after time he wouldn’t help. But he’d at least protected her somewhat from Angelus. “He won’t sire me. It;s weird, I know that he hates Angel but they still have that connection. He knows if he sires me, Angel will die. Besides, you have the spell - even if he did sire me you could give me my soul back.” Giles looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Willow, I can’t in good conscience let you leave with Spike.”

“But you could, in good conscience, let Buffy develop a relationship with a vampire? I’m trying not to blame her, we all trusted Angel, but...Xander was right all along.”

“What about Oz?” It was a low blow and Giles knew this, but Willow could see he was not going to give up.

“I love Oz but...Giles what would you do if you were me? Would you really stay in the town where you’d watched your friend butchered alive? Hang out with the woman who was meant to protect you? With her psychotic boyfriend? Spike lost Drusilla, it’s weird but he truly loved her. I promise to write to you - to email. I won’t be Spike’s prisoner, if things get hairy I can escape him.”

“Buffy will never agree -”

“Buffy gets no say in my life, and neither do you. Spike said my parents have left town, take me home? I won’t be a burden on you that way.”

“You’re not a burden. We should have taken you to the hospital, but with the attention it would have drawn...we thought it best you decide.”

“No, no hospitals. I...I want my parents to know I’m safe but…”

“You’re set on leaving.” Willow nodded. “I don’t agree with this Willow, but for now you need rest. We’ll discuss this tomorrow, I won’t say anything to Buffy for now.” Giles said as Willow opened her mouth. She nodded her thanks and began devouring the bread and soup.


	18. Chapter 18

Months of captivity had taken its toll on Willow. Even moving around Giles’s apartment she felt as if she should be creeping about and trying to keep out of site. Eventually Giles encouraged her to join him in the living room. She was surprised he had called in sick at work, she was instantly suspicious that he was keeping watch on her but realised this was an unfair thought. She was hardly going to run back to the mansion so she could run away with Spike; not if Angel was still there.

An abrupt banging on the door caught both Giles and Willow off-guard. Too weak to move quickly, Willow could only dart behind the settee to hide. Her heart was hammering in her throat, her already weak legs buckled under the pressure of crouching and she found herself curling into a tight ball.  _ It’s not Angel, it’s broad daylight. _ The smell of burning flesh hit her nostrils and Willow gagged as she forced herself to sit up and peer over the edge of the settee.

“What are you doing?” Giles asked, his voice exasperated. A figure stood clothed in a thick dark blanket and Willow let out a sigh of relief as it was revealed to be Spike.

“She needs help recovering.” Spike said, gesturing to Willow. “I wanted to make an offer, but thought perhaps I should offer it under chaperonage. She might also take your advice.”

“Advice?” Giles looked blank.

“He wants me to drink his blood,” Willow said. “Both he and Angelus tried to tell me I’d heal faster.”

“I hate to agree with them, Willow, but they are right.” Giles turned to look at Spike, his face impassive. “Has she had blood from either of you before?”

“No. Angelus would have tried to slip her some while she was asleep but, I made sure on those occasions I was close by.”

“And you never ‘slipped’ her some?”

“No.” Spike shrugged looking almost embarrassed. “I wanted her to trust me. Look I just want to help. Willow, I promise you it won’t change you. I’m not siring you - for that I would need to drain you to the brink of death.”

“He is telling the truth,” Giles sat on a chair and began vigorously cleaning his glasses. “I don’t like the idea but...it would mean you heal a lot quicker. And as you don’t want to go to the hospital, any injuries we’re unaware of...they would be healed.” Willow studied Spike, feeling as if she was trapped once more.

“You promise it’s not a trick to sire me?”

“I promise. And I don’t make these lightly.” Spike said taking her hands and sitting her back on the settee she had hidden behind. Willow looked between Spike and Giles. She wanted to refuse, mostly out of fear that it was a trick. But why would Giles agree if there was a chance she would be sired?

“Giles?” She asked, turning trusting eyes to him. “Is it safe?”

“I believe so, yes.” Giles said, his voice was terse as he glared at Spike. “You have been here a few days now, so we can safely assume you have not been bitten recently.” Willow thought back to the last time Angelus had bitten her; pinning her down on the counter where he had butchered Xander. She felt her blood turn to ice at the memory and she looked at Spike, the terror evident in her green eyes. “I will give you both some privacy.” Giles said, “Spike when you have...finished,” he hesitated. “I’d like a word in private.” 

Spike held Willow’s gaze as Giles left the room, seeking out her approval. She nodded once; a jerky movement she was sure she would regret in the next few minutes. Deftly Spike removed his duster jacket, red shirt and black t-shirt so he sat beside her naked from the waist up. Before she could protest he ran his nail across the hollow of his throat, a thin red line formed against his skin and he sat back, gently guiding Willow to his throat. 

Willow hesitated as her lips brushed the crimson liquid, the thought of drinking blood was repulsive. Squeezing her eyes shut she licked the blood from her lips before gently kissing the hollow of his throat and sucking at the wound gently. Spike’s hand stroked through her hair, a small guttural growl in his throat told her to carry on and she followed her instincts.

***

Giles turned to face the wall as he glanced through the small square gap in the kitchen which overlooked into his sitting room. He busied himself making tea, more to keep his hands and mind busy. Heavy boots clipped on the linoleum floor and he looked up to see Spike shrugging his jacket back on. His face was that of a demon and Giles lost his grip on reality, forming his hand into a fist and punching Spike square in the nose. He let out a grunt of pain, but didn’t regret his action.

“Bloody hell,” Spike hissed holding his nose. “She’s asleep. Maybe keep it down?” He took the offered tissue from Giles and held it to his nose, but it was barely seconds before the bleeding stopped. 

“She’s  _ seventeen _ .” Giles forced himself to keep his voice down. “And you think it appropriate to run off with her? You  _ kidnapped _ her and  _ tortured _ her.”

“Vampire.” Spike pointed to his face, “it’s my nature. And believe it or not, I genuinely care for her. Of course I want to sire her, but for now I just want to help her heal. Which she can’t do here. I want to take her far away from Angel, he’ll just appear and beg her for forgiveness. I don’t want him springing himself on her. She should see him on  _ her _ terms, if she wants to.” Giles sighed and looked over towards the settee, he could see Willow’s hand limply hanging over the side. He fought the urge to go and check on her, afraid he would wake her up. “If I had sired her, would you be standing here?”

“I suppose not,” Giles said begrudgingly. “She told me she plans to leave with you...Buffy will hunt you down.”

“You know my record, I’m happy to add another Slayer to my notches.” Spike flashed a wolfish smile, this time managing to duck out of the way and grab Giles’s fist. He pinned the man’s hand behind his back, twisting it up to his shoulder. “Do I need to remind you I have over a century on you?” He released Giles with a shove. “I know you don’t like me, frankly I don’t care - you’re food to me. But I care for the little Witch out there.  _ That _ is the only reason I haven’t drained everyone of you dry for failing to help her.”

The words stung Giles and he stared at Willow helplessly. He had failed Jenny and then he had failed Willow and Xander. Catastrophically. He never should have allowed them to mix with Buffy’s Slayer responsibilities, what on earth had possessed him? 

“She said she will use that godforsaken contraption to email us, to stay in contact. You will let her.” It was not a request and Spike shrugged.

“Of course. Believe it or not, I’m not kidnapping her. This is what she wants.” Giles nodded shortly.

“Don’t come back for a few days, until you’re ready to leave. Your blood will help her heal, but I would still prefer to watch her for a few days at least. Just to make sure.”

“How long do you think she’ll need?” Spike’s voice was full of concern and Giles found himself surprised; did Spike really care for Willow?

“A few days. I want to talk to her, to make sure she is sure that this is the best course of action and what she truly wants.” Spike nodded in understanding once again catching Giles of-guard. He was certainly not a typical vampire, but then had Drusilla or even Darla been? They showed human emotions, they cared for others. Something Giles had never encountered.  _ The Master was distraught by Darla, _ he reminded himself of what Angel had once told him. But he shook the thoughts away; they were demons. The enemy. Surely Willow’s abduction was enough to prove that their thoughts for humans were nothing more than food and enjoyment?

“I won’t lie to you, even if she changed her mind I’d still come for her.” Spike said, “it just helps that she does want this.”

“And when you sire her?”

“No one wants that. Well...apart from that weird friend of the Slayers. But when we adjust, it’s a better life. It’s not true what you’re told.”

“Oh?” Giles gestured for Spike to sit down, checking that Willow was deeply asleep and wouldn’t be disturbed. He passed no comment when Spike took his jacket off and placed it over her.

“That we’re dead and a demon inhabits us. I’m a demon yes, but I’m still me. The soul isn’t your only form of consciousness - it’s your soul but...it’s hard to describe. The lack of a soul makes it easier to kill, how else would we survive? But I am still me, minus a small part. Angelus became cruel because he had that in him all along. His humanity suppressed it. Most vampires ignore their humanity altogether. But we still care for the things we once did as humans, we can still care for humans.” he gestured to Willow. “Even when he’s Angelus, he still cares for Buffy - that’s why he plays games. He wanted to break her, to own her completely before siring her.”

Giles was horrified at the thought of his charge being sired. He had heard of rare occasions of Slayers being sired. It never ended well, for the Watcher and more often than not, the Sire.

“The night after tomorrow...come back for her then. But I must ask you to make no contact with her, or Buffy, until then. Is Angel aware of your plans?”

“No. I’m not stupid, he’d tell the Slayer and it would make everything worse. Best she doesn’t know until we’re gone?” Although he hated the deception, Giles could only agree. “What about her parents?”

“They’re distraught. Especially once Xander was found. They fear she has suffered a similar fate, although they can’t understand why she hadn’t been found at least. I - I will think of something to tell them. I’m just not quite sure how to explain their daughter has run off with a man more than...well…” He didn’t care to even attempt the maths at the age gap.

“Perhaps I could take her for a visit? It will be hard on her...but at least her parents will have seen her.”

“I’ll discuss it with her. Now, forgive me but...I’d rather not have your company until sunset.” Willow was nestled into Spike’s jacket, but he knew better than to leave it there in case the Slayer saw it. Giles watched as he bundled himself under the blanket, and disappeared into the sun hissing as he left. With any luck he would fry, but Giles very much doubted that.


	19. Chapter 19

Willow and Oz sat in Giles’s small garden, the sun had not quite set and the air was growing warmer. Willow inhaled the fresh scent of mint growing close by and closed her eyes, enjoying the kiss of the sun on her face. Oz had arrived earlier than Buffy and Giles had gone out, giving the two some much needed privacy.

“Oz, I - I need to tell you something.” Willow hesitated unsure of how to go on, she turned to look at her werewolf-boyfriend. She had never broken up with anyone, Oz was her first boyfriend, and she didn’t relish what she was about to do.

“You’re going away with Spike aren’t you?” Her mouth dropped open; was it that obvious? “I can smell him on you, I can’t say I’m not angry.” His voice was as calm as ever and Willow bit back a smile. Oz and his control of emotions was one of the many things she loved about him. But it wasn’t funny, he probably was seething and she quickly looked away. “Why?”

“I can’t stay here after everything.”

“Then come away with me.” He said it so simply, “we’ll figure out something for the full-moon.”

“Something happened...I...I don’t love Spike.” Earlier she had told Giles she loved Oz, but even though it was true she had never said it out loud to Oz and found that saying it now would just be cruel. “I don’t know what I feel about him...maybe it’s because we’re both grieving. He lost Drusilla and I…”

“You didn’t lose just Xander, you lost...everything.” Oz said wisely nodding along as she spoke. “You had this innocent outlook on the world, that everything would be ok. You’ve lost that…your eyes, they’re so sad. And your scent...I can smell your pain.” He reached over and brought her hand to his lips. “Will you write?”

“Of course!” Willow flung her arms around him, crying quietly into his shoulder. She had not expected him to make it this easy. It wasn’t fair for him to be so understanding. 

“Are you going to tell Buffy?”

“I don’t know how,” Willow admitted. “Does that make me a coward?”

“No.” Oz’s voice turned unusually hard. “Willow you can never think that, look at all you’ve been through. And honestly...I don’t think Buffy deserves to know. She’ll just berate you for it, it’s your decision. Not that I agree with it, but I can see why you want to go.” Willow stared at Oz in open amazement, it was possibly the longest he’d spoken. “When do you leave?”

“Giles said the night after tomorrow. Spike came today...maybe that’s why you can smell him? I slept for a bit and they talked.” She shrugged as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “I can’t stay here, not with Angel still here. And even if he left...I’ll see Xander everywhere.” Oz squeezed her hand and she moved back into her own chair. Giles had told her of what he and Spike had talked about; including her parents. She talked this over with Oz, the best way to break the news to them that she was safe but leaving. She didn’t want them to see Spike, she didn’t want to risk him revealing his true nature by mistake. And if the police were tracking him…

“A phone call perhaps?” Oz suggested, “from the roadside. That way even if they traced it, you’ll be long gone. You can send them a letter after?” Willow nodded, it seemed like perhaps the best way for the moment. She could tell them she had escaped and that she was safe, but she couldn’t be in Sunnydale. Her mother as a psychologist would probably be itching to analyse Willow after this trauma. She chided herself for the unfair thought, but deep down she knew while her mother would be relieved to have her daughter back, the lure of psychology would be too much.

A comfortable silence settled between the two teenagers. They both sat, hands loosely held and looking up at the sky as it turned pink and finally settled into night. Only when Giles brought out some blankets and food did they come back to the present, both having been lost in thought. 

“Buffy is patrolling, but she’ll be round soon.” Giles said joining them when he was sure he wasn’t disturbing. A shadow passed over Oz’s face and Willow frowned in concern.

“Does she have any friends left?” She asked Giles, “I - I’m not saying you’re not her friend.” She quickly corrected.

“I’m her Watcher first.”

“I don’t hate her,” Oz said calmly. “But...it’s hard. To know how close you were…”

“Believe me, Buffy is torn up about what happened. She holds herself responsible, which is...somewhat fair and of course unfair. She couldn’t have stopped you from being kidnapped Willow, but…”

“We all trusted Angel, that’s what infuriates me.” Willow said glumly, “I can’t blame her for not slaying him - I thought it was so romantic; the forbidden romance. And he was handsome.”

“Was?” Oz smiled wryly.

“It’s hard to find someone handsome after...well.” Willow shrugged. “But...we used to stay up late talking about him. When they...Buffy told me what happened. But I never thought it would lead to all this…”

“No, no I don’t suppose any of us did.” Giles said looking thoughtfully into space. “I suppose it’s one to add to records on Angelus, a warning as to what will trigger his curse. In a century perhaps another slayer will find it useful.”

“Won’t he be dead in a century?” Willow pointed out, “he’s bound to me. When I die, won’t he?”

“Yes, well...I suppose if that spell is still in place. Perhaps before you leave you could help me locate the spell? From there I can work on finding the counter-spell.” Hope flared in Willow. She wasn’t afraid of dying and taking Angel with her, but what if he was killed? The thought of just going about her day, minding her own business, and then what? She would cease to exist? She’d not admitted that she was frightened Angel would just end his life out of guilt. “I am assuming you want the spell broken?”

“Yes...although it is what’s keeping Spike from siring me at the moment.” She smiled wryly, “still, he wouldn’t need to know if the spell was lifted. Giles...the restoration spell, do you think you could perform it?”

“I believe so, the magic shop seems to have a healthy supply of orbs. Embarrassingly enough I had purchased my own from there as a paperweight. Why, do you want me to try it on Spike?”

“No...I couldn’t do that to him.” She pulled a face, “but you could curse me?”

“That’s if Spike would be willing to admit what he’s done.” Oz pointed out, “I don’t like you talking this way though Willow. Why go with him if you think there’s a danger of that happening?”

“I wish I could explain it,W Willow sighed. “It’s not...it's not Stockholm Syndrome. Spike wasn’t my captor, if I’d wanted to escape I’m sure he’d have helped me. But I was frightened, not of me but…” Willow stopped herself realising she had almost admitted it was because of them she had been too frightened to save herself. “I trust him, I can’t give a better answer than that.”

“You’re both grieving,” Oz repeated her point from earlier. “Spike only came here for a cure for Drusilla, it makes sense he wouldn’t want to hang around. And I can understand his obsession with you.” Oz brought her hand to his lips once more, but he didn’t lower it back. Instead he sat there, lost in thought and holding her hand.

“I’m sorry,” Willow murmured. “I wish things could be different.”

_ I wish none of this had ever happened, _ fighting back tears. If only they could turn back time. If Buffy had never arrived…

_ There’s no point dwelling on what ifs, _ she told herself. 

  
  



End file.
